Satisfyer Men – Sex Toy Review
Coming from Satisfyer, I was REALLY expecting the Satisfyer Men to do something really cool… like have some kind of weird and wild air pulse component like all my other Satisfyer toys… or at the very least I figured it would do something mildly exciting… like vibrate… but not… it’s just another masturbation sleeve… just something to stick your dick in. There are no amazing bells and whistles… no unique gimmicks… and I am really weirdly disappointed by that. I WANTED THERE TO BE SOMETHING COOL.
After all, in my experience Satisfyer does one thing and they do it well… they make excellent suction based toys (or air pulse… or whatever the technical term they use is). Although they do seem to be branching out into more “traditional” sex toy territory lately… just the other day I got a box full (and I do mean full) of new Satisfyer vibrators… but I’ll get to those in another review… I’m getting off topic here. What I’m trying to say is… WHAT THE HECK SATISFYER?! THIS IS JUST A REGULAR SLEEVE?!?!
Okay, now that I got my initial feelings of disappointment out of the way… Even without the bells and whistles I really thought that the Satisfyer Men was going to be an excellent Masturbator. I was pretty excited to have my Stunt Cock come over to give it a try, he hears me gush about my Satisfyer Pro Travel enough, I wanted him to also have an “OMG SATISFYER” moment as well. Sadly… this didn’t seem to happen and now I’m extra bummed out about the Satisfyer Men.
Now, I can’t speak for how it feels in comparison, but I can say that the Satisfyer Men does seem more substantial than a Tenga Cup and looks far more attractive, modern, and streamlined than a Fleshlight. Now, these are really neither good nor bad things… just my observation and it really just comes down to your personal preferences on masturbation sleeve aesthetics. I also thought that the Cyberskin TPE material felt super plush and I did enjoy giving the sleeve a good finger banging… I also attempted to smash my clit against it… because… why not, and even though it did feel soft and I was able to work myself up a little bit thinking about it being a real pussy it never actually got me anywhere, so it seems without a penis, that’s really as much as I’m qualified to say about the toy.
Thankfully, my Stunt Cock is fully qualified to give me an opinion on how the Satisfyer Men feels and as of right now he has it ranked it above a Fleshlight but below the Tenga (with the exception of the Flip Zero, he said its better than that one). He seemed to have two major issues with the sleeve (or “love tunnel” as Satisfyer calls it), the first being the size (or I guess I should say girth) of the toy and also the pressure panels on toy’s casing.
The Satisfyer Men was much larger than I was expecting… probably mostly due to how dainty all of my other Satisfyer toys are… I just had the silly expectation that this toy would be equally small and dainty… but its not. There is nothing dainty about the Satisfyer Men, it is a fairly hefty toy. While I thought the recently reviewed Tenga Flip Zero looked like something straight out of an Apple Store, the Satisfyer Men looks far more sporty… like something someone who drives a Subaru with a RocketBox always attached to the roof would own. You know, like, someone who is always hauling their bike around on the back of their car… but you have never actually seen them riding it… like… yes… we get it… you are so sporty… that’s how looking at the Satisfyer Men makes me feel. The case itself measures in at 10 inches in length and is 9.5 inches around at its widest point (for comparison the standard Fleshlight also measures in at 10 inches long, so its sized much like a Fleshlight… only much more streamlined… as I said above). But the inner girth seemed to be an issue for Stunt Cock, he said the whole thing just felt too tight. I’ve always been of the opinion that his penis was of average girth, so I’m always surly when he reports back to me that a sleeve was too tight… but maybe I have a warped idea of what average is and he is actually above average (might be time to bust out a tape measurer)… or maybe his penis is just claustrophobic and doesn’t like snug fitting spaces. Either way, he wasn’t a fan in the toys size department.
The Satisfyer Men is less anatomical looking than a Fleshlight, but the opening does still suggest a vulva and the “love tunnel” is a vagina to me, so if you are looking for something completely void of anything suggesting the vulva/vagina Tenga might be the sleeve for you. Stunt Cock had no issues in this department, he thinks it’s a visually appealing toy. He agrees with my earlier observation of it looking sporty and adds that it feels pretty masculine to him.
On either side of the toy are softish silicone panels, these are supposed to build the pressure inside the toy by pumping them. According to the manual the “love tunnel” (I just can’t get over them calling it a love tunnel”) should become more narrow as you pump. Both Stunt Cock and I agreed that these panels were really hard to push… which is less than ideal. Also, pumping them didn’t seem to result in any kind of suction or pressure or narrowing or nothin’. It seemed like we had to of been doing something wrong… but we followed the instructions to the letter (well…to the picture…it shows how to operate the toy on an illustrated card) and we just could make any kind of strong suction. After Stunt Cock had his way with the toy I decided to see if I could make the suction thing work. I grabbed my trust Pleasure Works Maven and gave it a go… I managed to get it to make some kind of squeaky suction noises, but it took a lot of force and effort on those panels… and even then, it didn’t feel like it made the toy any tighter. Is our toy a dud? Are we just too dumb to create suction? Is it just a terrible design over all? I DON’T KNOW, YOU TELL ME!
Had we been able to make the suction work (or as Satisfyer calls it… “narrowing of the love tunnel) the bottom of the toy has the ability to unscrew, allowing you to release the pressure and loosen the toy back up. No amount of twisting or fiddling seemed to make any particular difference for us though. But its a neat idea… if it works…
The inner walls of the sleeve do have a bit of a ribbed texture to them. Stunt Cock said he could feel the texture but thought it felt pretty subtle. I wasn’t aware of it at the time I asked to review this particular product, but apparently there are other sleeves with various textures available for the Satisfyer Men. These come as sleeve only, so you would already need to own the Satisfyer Men (what is featured in this review). This is actually kind of nice, because you don’t need to spend a ton of money buying full case/sleeve combos if you want multiple textures on hand. At the time of this review these sleeves are only around $12 and the Satisfyer Men is around $39, so owning multiple textures doesn’t seem unreasonable and certainly wouldn’t break the bank.
Cleaning this thing sucks giant balls. I guess we’ve been spoiled by some of our latest Tenga products that just open up wide to allow for cleaning. Drying this thing sucks even more than washing it. We used ours a good 24 hours ago and it is still wet inside… I don’t know how to help it dry any faster. I’ve left both the bottom and top caps off hoping that would help speed the drying process… but no such luck… its still weirdly moist and gross inside the sleeve. Also, this thing is a PITA to put back into its case once you’ve pulled it out. I spent what felt like ages trying to coax and cram this slippery bit of Cyberskin back into its hidey-hole… in the end I just passed it back to Stunt Cock in frustration and said “here, you deal with it.” Which, to his credit he did a marvelous job at… he whipped it around wildly until sheer force drove it back into its opening… it was impressive and a bit aggressive looking. So… caring for this toy is less than idea in my book and since Stunt Cock didn’t really enjoy the toy anyway… not really worth the effort.
I am actually really sad that the Satisfyer Men didn’t blow my Stunt Cock’s mind. I really wanted this to be an amazing experience and a sleeve he would be excited to use! At this point I don’t really think I can recommend the Satisfyer Men… just with how hard it is to care for, the fact that we couldn’t get the suction feature to work, and that my Stunt Cock wasn’t at all impressed with it (he did orgasm… but the look on his face made me think it was more of a chore than something he was actually enjoying)… I think you’ll have better luck with a Tenga or the Fleshlight Quickshot. While the budget friendly price of the Satisfyer Men and its textured sleeves are attractive… the toy just seems to be a complete let down overall. I’m kind of hoping that our toy was some how just busted and that somewhere out there is a penis that is really enjoying the suction feature… which works absolutely flawlessly for them… but it was a no-go on our end. If you are looking for a masturbation sleeve, I would gently push you into another direction… I think there are some kinks to be worked out in this particular toy. Also… I’m not a huge fan of the name. Despite what it says, you do not actually have to be a man to use this masturbation toy. It is a toy for penises… so if you have something penis in nature, this stroker is made for you (but don’t buy it… you deserve something better). When I asked Stunt Cock for his closing thoughts on the Satisfyer Men he said “It’s certainly not the worst thing we’ve used… but we’ve seen better.” So there you have it… if its something you want to try, I won’t stop you (because there really are worse things out there… so in the grand scheme of things… its not all that bad)… but just know we didn’t have the greatest luck with it.
If you think I am just full of hot air and think you can make the suction feature work for you (and if you can, please drop me a comment below), you can pick up a Satisfyer Men from the wonderful folks at SheVibe!
The Satisfyer Men was provided to me free of charge by Shevibe in exchange for my honest review.