Uberrime Dr. Manhattan – Sex Toy Review
I can’t lie… the number one reason I asked to review the Uberrime Dr. Manhattan is so I could make an irritating number of blue penis jokes. The kind of jokes I couldn’t stop making after watching Watchman in theaters with my friends. The kinds of jokes that are no doubt the reason why no one invites me to the movies anymore… and honestly, most my jokes won’t even be that funny… just a lot of me giggling about blue balls (even though this particular version of Dr. Manhattan has no balls).
First off, did I just hear you say who is Dr. Manhattan (you should be ashamed of yourself… just kidding… or am I)? Well… in the DC Comics, he just happens to be a nuclear physicist named Dr. Jonathan Osterman who happened to survive being disintegrated in an Intrinsic Field Subtractor and then reconstructing himself (you know, as one does…) and thusly being transformed into one of the most supreme beings of the DC world… he was then given the name Doctor Manhattan (after the Manhattan project) and pressed into service by the United States Government. He then just spends a heck of a lot of time being both very naked and very blue. Like… seriously… he is almost never wearing clothes in the comics… he just rocks out with his cock out ALL THE TIME… but you can do that when you are a supreme and omnipotent being… I guess.
So, the idea in the original comic book version of Doctor Manhattan was apparently to give him “understated” genitals—like some sort of classical greek sculpture… something that the reader wouldn’t necessarily notice initially. Then the movie Watchmen with Billy Crudup playing to role of Doctor Manhattan came along… and suddenly Doctor Manhattan was HUNG. Full frontal nudity with a big ol’ anaconda dangling between his legs (and dare I say it even looks uncircumcised)… did Billy Crudup say he would only play the role of Doctor Manhattan if he got a huge dick? I mean… thats what I would put in my contract if it were me… so I can’t blame him if he did. The Uberrime Dr. Manhattan is a whopping 9.5 inches in total length (and has 8.75 inches of insertable length)… I’m just going to go ahead and say it… there is absolutely nothing “understated” about that… so the Uberrime version is a bit more movie Manhattan dick than original comics dick… Other important dick measurements (help, I’m caught dick loop and I can’t stop saying it) is the head, measuring in with a circumference of 5.75 inches, the mid-point of the shaft with a circumference of 5 inches and the base of the shaft with a circumference of 5.66 inches. So girth-wise, I would say it is maybe slightly above average but not overly girthy and adequately filling.
Something else about Doctor Manhattan that I touched on briefly is his coloring. After his Intrinsic Field Subtractor incident (she says as if she understands any of that) Dr. Osterman (now Manhattan) returns as a blue-skinned man, glowing with a “flare of ultraviolet.” Much like his human (or super-human as the case may be) counterpart, the Uberrime Dr. Manhattan dildo also has that blue tone… well, actually I would say mine is more of a teal-ish color… maybe more of an aquamarine… the actual Doctor Manhattan is more of a blue blue but whatever… were splitting hairs here… (or should I say splitting atoms… get it… because you know… science?! I told you all of my jokes in this review would be bad). My photos aren’t really doing the color justice, it has much more of a greenish hue to it than my camera was catching (although I wish it was more true to the color of my photos… thats the kind of blue I want for my Dr. Manhattan) as I have recently suffered the loss of one of my studio lights and the overhead lights in my office just weren’t cutting it… c’est la vie. There are also some lovely swirls of silver throughout the whole toy and of course… the all important glitter. Lots of shimmery glitter… which definitely gives this Dr. Manhattan his super-human appearance… because super heroes should glisten and glitter goddamnit! And while the Uberrime Dr. Manhattan may not have a “flare of ultraviolet” it does glow in the god damn dark! When left to charge under bright lights, the Dr. Manhattan dildo will glow blue-in-the-dark for a nearly a full half hour (assuming you’ve given it enough time to power up). Really, the only thing this version of Dr. Manhattan is missing is the hydrogen symbol embossed on it somewhere (preferably on the head). Side note… do you think that Doctor Manhattan ejaculates in some kind of ethereal blue jizz? Or is he so far beyond human needs and desires that his giant blue penis just there for decorative purposes?
Dr. Manhattan is made from wonderfully soft (shore 5) platinum silicone. In fact everything Uberrime makes is skin-safe, phthalate free silicone… because that’s how Uberrime rolls… so if you are on the hunt for a unique, amazing, and totally functional silicone dildo you really should check out all the toys Uberrime has to offer! Silicone is great because it is SO easy to clean. Normally, when I finish with my silicone toys I give them a quick rinse in the sink then let them just air dry on the counter (or in the bedroom on the nightstand) and then every so often I have a big dildo cleaning day and toss all my silicone into the dishwasher to give everyone a quick go round in the hot water (sans any dishwashing detergent). The Dr. Manhattan has minimal texturing (at least as far as nooks and crannies go), so with the exception for the ridge right under the head of the toy, there aren’t any finicky areas that need a lot of attention and scrubbing to remove lube and vag/butt goo.
The Uberrime Dr. Manhattan reminds me A LOT of the Uberrime Night King I reviewed during my Spooky Month Countdown last October. Both toys are long and perfect for waggling at people. The texture seem pretty similar to me as well, both toys have a pretty pronounced phallic head (which is the only bit of realism you are going to get with this toy… everything else is pure comic book magic) as well as a well defined second corneal ridge. The similarities don’t end there either! Both toys also have the same sort of swirling, ribbed texture that seems to emanate off a pronounced ridge that runs the length of the shaft (although the texture of the Dr. Manhattan is much less pronounced and is much softer). Which leads me to the only possible conclusion… somehow Dr. Manhattan… in his ability to be every where at all times, past, present and future… is also living in a timeline (maybe in our far future?) where Westeros is a thing and he has taken on the role of the Night King… another blue skinned dude who doesn’t really give a fuck what humans got going on. SOLVED IT. These blue dicks are the same person. Although, the Night King seems to be a bit firmer its silicone being listed as a shore 10… but if you live North of the Wall, your dick is bound to be a bit firmer… after all… its probably frozen solid. Or he’s like… some kind of magically dead (zombie-esque) being… so rigor mortis has just set in and his cock is always just a little bit firm. ANYWAY, whether or not you believe the Night King and the Dr. Manhattan to be the same (or at least sameish) toy, I can tell you with absolute certainty that I really enjoyed using the Dr. Manhattan just as much as I did the Night King. The squishiness of the Dr. Manhattan did mean I didn’t feel the textures of the toy quite as intensely as I did on the Night King, but, also… its possible that there is just somewhat less texturing over all on the Dr. Manhattan.
Okay… I was so worked up over this whole Night King/Dr. Manhattan thing that I just finally went straight to the source and bothered Marco (Mr. Uberrime himself) about the whole situation. He assures me that Dr. Manhattan and the Night King are both different toys… they just happen to be similarish. Dr. Manhattan is softer (which I said) and has less texture (which I also said… kind of) but is not the exact same toy with the Dr. Manhattan being based off an older design of the same name. So… there we go… that solves that! Thank goodness… because that was going to wear on me big time.
The base of the Dr. Manhattan makes it suitable for both anal use and harness fun. Since it is kind of on the longer side, it did droop a bit in my harness… although my harness is kind of on the cheaper side and isn’t totally adjustable… so if I could have just cinched things up a little tighter it may have stood more erect. But still, even being a little droopy, it worked just fine! Also, since I mentioned that its anal safe I just gotta say… I looooooooove putting this toy in my but. Oh man… its… magic. The softer silicone and the gentle texturing… anal perfection. I also like that its girthy but not wildly girthy, which makes it just about right for my butt. I also like the length that it has to it… while it beats up against my cervix if I go too hog wild with it thrusting vaginally… the length is perfect for kind of gently sliding into my ass and feeling just perfectly full. This is an excellent butt dildo. A+, do recommend for butt stuff.
I pretty much have to recommend you go out and buy the Dr. Manhattan dildo right away. Uberrime is such an excellent crafter of silicone toys… you need to own at least one (if not a dozen) of his toys! The silicone is top notch, the colors are frickin’ awesome, every design I’ve tested thus far has been very well thought out (and crafted by hand)… there is no reason not to own one! Although, if length is not your thing… the Dr. Manhattan may not be your thing. It is a long toy (9.5 inches remember) and I ended up with it attacking my cervix with it once or twice when I let myself get a little too crazy with the thrusting (although when I took it slow I was able to kind of massage it back behind my cervix and that felt nice). The Dr. Manhattan is a nice melding of realism and fantasy, making for a dildo that kind of looks like a human penis… but also… its very clearly not a human penis at all. Great for anyone who kind of likes the general shape of a penis, but would prefer it to not look at all human. Also, if you are planning on ever cosplaying as Dr. Manhattan… this dildo is pretty much a must. It is the perfect way to complete your stark naked, supreme blue being costume. Just put this dildo in a blue harness and you are good to go. And another thing… if you are ever short a lint roller, Dr. Manhattan has got you covered, the matte silicone has a way of finding every stray bit of lint and hair it comes in contact with. I thought I had throughly cleaned my photo table… and yet as soon as I laid it down, it found all kinds of dust and dog hair!
The Dr. Manhattan is available exclusively from SheVibe, so if you want to pick up this blue beast for yourself, you are going to have to go there! But don’t worry, they are nice people, they will share their supply of Dr. Manhattan’s with you if you ask nicely (or by just adding one to your cart)!
The Uberrime Dr. Manhattan was provided to me free of charge by SheVibe in exchange for my honest review.