FemmeFunn Stubby 2 Massager – Sex Toy Review
Have you ever decided that it was time to masturbate so you pull your sex toy collection from the back of your closet or out from under your bed (or if you like me… also from every available cabinet and storage tote in the house) on the quest for the perfect toy? You aren’t quite sure what it is you are searching for at first… but you just know that you will known it when you see it… you feel a tingling in your loins… throbbing then subsiding like a sexy game of hot and cold as you move from toy to toy. After searching through every dildo, vibrating wand and bullet you own you realize what it is you are truly looking for is a vibrating rabbit in a space suit. That rodent cosmonaut is the one thing is the one and only toy that will satisfy your in that moment and you feel crushed when you realize you don’t own one. This happens to everyone right? Or is this another “no, it’s just you Kitten” situation? It’s just me isn’t it…
Well, thankfully for those of us who do dream of masturbating with only the finest of space cadet bunnies, the FemmeFunn Stubby 2 Massager exists! I’ve got to admit it, I’ve had a bit of a crush on this toy ever since I saw FemmeFunn tweeting out pictures of it. If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile now, you should be well acquainted with my fetish for adorably dumb sex toys. The Stubby 2 Massager definitely falls into that category of sex toys that I think are so cute I don’t really care if they work right, I’ll still hold onto them because they are stupidly cute… and I’ve built a little shrine to all the cuteness in the corner of my bedroom closet. But, the difference between the Stubby 2 Massager and some of my other dumb-cute toys is that it comes from FemmeFunn, the same people who made the Ultra Bullet that I reviewed a year or so ago. At the time I was pretty convinced the Ultra Bullet was going to be just another shitty, buzzy bullet that would do nothing but disappoint me… but in the end it took me by surprise. While I was expecting a buzzy flop I instead ended up with a super charged winner! So, I had high hopes that the Stubby 2 Massager would follow in the Ultra Bullet’s foot steps and I crossed my fingers and hoped that Stubby would be one of those “looks silly, but comes out of nowhere with the rumble” type of toys.
So, what was the verdict? Well… I’m kind of on the fence about my good ol’ friend Stubby here. I have absolutely no problems with the quality of its vibrations, in true FemmeFunn style the Stubby 2 Massager did possess some nice rumbly vibrations but because of the placement of the rabbits ears I had a hard time taking advantage of them. So, the Stubby 2 is more or less palm-sized and is comprised of two segments, a round body and a smaller round head, on top of the head are two ears… these ears are spaced rather widely apart… too wide if you ask me. When I placed my clit between the rabbit’s ears… nothing magical happened. In my hand I could feel the body of the toy rumbling with what should have been deep, satisfying vibrations… but it was getting lost in those ears… it was just vibrating bits of my vulva around my clit and it wasn’t really doing much for me. If I used my free hand to pinch the ears together around my clit, THEN I could enjoy the vibrations on my clit. When I could actually feel the vibrations surrounding my clit, it felt great… there is definitely potential with the Stubby 2… and maybe if I had a larger, less shy clit things may have worked out better for me. But as it stands… I am currently in a love/hate relationship with this vibrator.
Rather than use the FemmeFunn Stubby 2 Massager as a rabbit vibe, I ended up just pushing one ear up against my clit, making it more like pinpoint bullet experience. This was alright, the ears are nice and flexible and soft enough that I was able to really push down hard against my clit (I really like getting those vibrations down deep) without it becoming uncomfortable. On the backside of the Stubby 2 (or at least I assume its the back… I’ve kind of dubbed the part with what looks like a face mask the front of the rabbit) are two little nubs under the ears, again these were spaced to far apart to do any good to my clit… but they were kind of interesting because if I line those up with my clit then suddenly the ears are very nearly penetrating… and I kind of like that tickling, rumbling vibration teasing the entrance of my vagina. So if my clit was able to get the attention it was craving, I could see this particular set up being very satisfying and a fun warm up to penetrating with a dildo (or a penis). But the spacing is just off… so… I guess I’ll never know…
Next, I tried to just insert the ears, without worrying about any kind of clit contact. This wasn’t too bad either, the ears were very close to tickling my g-spot. I don’t think I would ever orgasm from this though, I need to press down deep into my g-spot to really get any kind of rise out of it… but the tickling was pleasant. It made for a nice warm up, turned me on, didn’t satisfy me… but it readied me to move on to bigger and better things. So… maybe the Stubby 2 is more of a side-kick… part of a super hero duo… Stubby 2 got the fight started, but when things really start to heat up, it is time to call in the hero (the hero this time being my Happy Rabbit… a rabbit vibe that actually really works for me).
As I said above, the vibrations are definitely not the problem. I’m not sure that its as strong as the Ultra Bullet (although, I’m working off memory here… because my Ultra Bullet is still packed away in a box in the garage from my move… so I can’t be 100% positive) but I think it must come pretty close. The FemmFunn Stubby 2 has seven vibration modes, three of these are steady vibrations going from a low, to medium, to high setting. The high kind of trends towards buzzy… but not in a bad way, more of in a “this is becoming a pretty intense vibration” sort of way and I can still detect enough rumble to it. The other four modes are all patterns… they are alright… I’m not a pattern person, it takes something very special to excite me about a pattern… I’m not excited. But, if you like patterns… they probably aren’t terrible, the pulsating one if probably the most tolerable of them all, it feels pretty rumbly and is pretty punchy, I hate vibration patterns with too much lag between the vibrations… my clit wants constant vibration contact!
Also, the ears don’t do a terrible job of stimulating my nipples. So it is an alright toy for sensation play or nipple fun… run the ears up and down your partners (or your own) body, around their nipples, grazing any of their erogenous zones as a bit of foreplay.
Controlling the FemmeFunn Stubby 2 is just an easy one button affair. Right in the middle of the bunny’s belly is a round button with a pair of F’s (presumably for FemmeFunn), this is the button that operates the whole shebang. Powering it up confused me a bit at first… I kept thinking my toy was out of charge and kept plugging it in and wondering why it didn’t seem like it was charging, I almost became convinced that I had a broken toy that couldn’t hold a charge… until I realized something. When I press and hold the button a ring of light flashes around the button… I figured that light had to mean something, so I clicked the button again… and wouldn’t you know it, the toy came to life! So, to turn the Stubby 2 on, first press and hold the button until a blue light rings the button, then click it again to start up the vibrations. Then continue clicking the button to cycle through those seven modes. To turn Stubby off again just press and hold the button until it powers down. Pretty straight forward once I figured it out (probably something I could have learned from the instruction manual, but who has time for reading when there is masturbating to be done).
Charging the Femme Funny Stubby 2 is kind of neat… I mean, as neat as charging up an electronic can get. Instead of having a cable to plug into it, the Stubby 2 comes with a little cup (or rabbit burrow if you will…) that it sits in while it powers up. It adds to the space bunny’s stupid-fun charm. As it sat on my desk charging I pretended it was his little rocket ship and he was getting ready to blast off into space to become the first bunny to walk the moon. I spend a lot of time at my desk… almost none of that time is productive… because these are the kinds of thoughts I have. The little space pod charging nest plugs into a computer or wall adapter via its included USB cable.
Overall… it is a nice little vibrator… but as I said, I’m on the fence about it. I want to recommend it, because its adorable and it has a space pod to sit in. But those ears just didn’t do it for me… the really needed to be closer together. And even though I was able to find other uses for those ears and made some things work, it failed at the one thing I really wanted it to do… which was to sandwich my clit between those ears and give me a fantastic orgasm. I would have much rather closer ears that were flexible enough to spread apart wider should I require more space. The vibrations really have the potential to be something nice and maybe this toy would still work for some of you… but if rabbit vibes in general tend to frustrate you… this one most definitely will. So, I recommend it if you think this might be your thing… because the quality of the toy is great. FemmeFunn does make nice toys, the silicone is soft with a kind of matte texture, it feels good against my skin, the design is cute (but those ears…) and I like the mode of charging… so… all in all it has the makings of a great toy with just a small execution flaw (at the very least its flawed when put up against my particular anatomy). But, it’s cute… so Stubby 2 will always have a home on my desk… maybe I’ll build more of a rocket ship onto his space pod… and a medal for bravery… it takes a lot of guts to be the first bunny on the moon.
The FemmeFunn Stubby 2 Massager was provided to me free of charge by FemmeFunn in exchange for my honest review.