Blush Novelties Temptasia Elvira – Sex Toy Review
Spooky Month week three! The countdown to Halloween continues! If you are just joining me (where have you been?!?!) be sure to catch up with my earlier Halloween reviews: the Tantus Zombie Gary and the Uberrime Night King!
Let’s take a moment to talk about Dopplegängers. Why? Well… you’ll see in a moment… but first I want to make sure we are all on the same page here. A dopplegänger is a non-biologically related like-alike or twin of a living person. Okay that doesn’t sound so bad right? WRONG! Here is where it gets spooky… a dopplegänger is often portrayed as a ghostly or paranormal phenomenon and usually seen as a harbinger of bad luck… some even equate the dopplegänger as being the “evil twin.” Yeah… pretty spooky stuff!
Blush Novelties sent me a box of goodies with a Halloween feel… mostly pretty orange toys… that work great for the season… as well as all year long… but then I pulled out the Blush Novelties Temptasia Elvira… and I was hit with an overwhelming sense of déjà vu… which is a pretty creepy feeling. There was something about this dildo that I had seen before… something eerily familiar about it… I pulled it from its black box to give it a better look… and then it hit me! The Blush Novelties Temptasia Elvira is a mutha truckin’ dopplegänger! Who does Blush think they are, sending me this wraith bullshit for Halloween… as if I didn’t have enough to deal with, now I have a supernatural dildo demon in my house!
Okay, I swear… the Temptasia Elvira is the dopplegänger of the Luxe Mio… just look at them, they have the exact same body shape… they have the same squat little 6 inch body with 5.5 inches of insertable length… they have the exact same chubby girth… the only thing different about these two dildos is that the Temptasia Elvira is black…. which makes this pretty goth toy the complete opposite of the preppy purple Mio and therefore the EXACTLY the form I would imagine an evil dildo twin to take… unless the Luxe Mio is the dopplegänger and the Temptasia Elvira is being terrorized by this demonic purple dildo (which seems just as likely)! Whatever the case me be… there is something quite ghoulish going on here… (cue the ominous thunder and lightening).
So it is with a healthy amount of side-eye and a vial of holy water close at hand (you know… just in case things got out of hand)… I continue the review of the Blush Novelties Temptasia Elvira. Named after the Mistress of the Dark… you know that there is something sinister (and sexy) going on with this toy.
The Temptasia Elvira is made from silicone (just like the Luxe Mio…) and has a very touchable satin-like finish to it… making it the perfect dildo to keep close at hand for those times when someone tries to foil your evil plot, and just when they think they’ve won… you swivel around in your desk chair, stroking your soft, strokeable dildo while cackling maniacally. This is 100% the perfect dildo for villainous chair stroking. It is also 100% body safe… so when you aren’t playing the villain, you can also masturbate with it without fear of Phthalates or other icky things. I also find there is very little drag with this dildo, with a little bit of lube, the super soft matte silicone really slides like a dream! Something else worth noting is that there is practically zero squish or flexibility to the Elvira, the silicone it is made from is incredibly firm. Because of its smaller size, the firm silicone almost seems like a must to me… if it was small and super squishy… I think it would be very underwhelming… being as firm as it is I really think it makes the girth shine. The firmness also makes it an excellent ‘riding’ dildo, I am able to smush it down onto my floor and ride ’em cowboy, without it bending and wiggling and getting away from me as I bounce up and down.
Another dopplegänger feature of the Temptasia Elvira is its design. Just like the Luxe Mio, the Temptasia Elvira is an incredibly simple dildo. This is really perfect for someone who just wants something plain and simple, someone who doesn’t have time for too many bells and whistles and just wants a good ol’ fashioned fuck. The entire toy is completely free of any texture, with the exception of a nearly imperceptible seam that runs the entire length of the dildo on either side. Why this is there I don’t know? A byproduct of how its made I assume. I absolutely do not feel it one bit when the toy is inserted, so if you are looking for a completely texture free toy… this seam really shouldn’t be an issue. The only other feature in this otherwise mostly featureless dildo is the little dimple at the top of Elvira’s head. It really has no reason to be there… I don’t feel it when I insert the toy… so it serves no “pleasure” function… so I’m guessing it was an aesthetic choice? Something to make it look… more penis-like? All it really seems to do is collect vagina goo and excess lube and adds an extra step when it comes time to clean the toy… because of that dimple I can’t always just run the toy under water… I’ve got to get out my dildo tooth brush (because we all have toothbrushes for the express purpose of cleaning dildos right?) and dig out stubborn goo. I could do without the dimple. I am lazy. I said it with the Mio and I’ll say it with the Elvira… I would have preferred an entirely smooth head.
My absolute favorite feature of the Temptasia Elvira is without a doubt the girth. Sure, length can be great, but it doesn’t do as much for me as girth does. I really like the feeling of being stretched and filled and the Temptasia Elvira does an excellent job of that with its ample 2 inch in diameter body. It is definitely not a thrusting dildo (at least not for me) there just isn’t quite enough length there… I mean… I can thrust with it, it isn’t impossible, but when I am thrusting with a toy I usually like the feeling of a lot more length sliding in and out… the shorter body of the Temptasia Elvira really makes it feel… I don’t know… like… it ends too abruptly? Like, I push it in and just start to enjoy that long slide out…and oh… and its done… just as I was starting to enjoy it. So, for me… a wild thrusting dildo it is not. BUT it does my other favorite thing… which is act as a superior clenching dildo! I love inserting a nice, thick toy, and then just clenching around it while I use a vibrator externally, vibrating the shit out of my clit and surrounding area. That feels like pure magic to me. Also, that nice wide head turned out to be perfect for pressing and rocking against my g-spot… I think I’m having orgasmic after-shocks just thinking about it!
The Temptasia Elvira and the Luxe Mio are identical twins and therefore my recommendation shouldn’t come as much of a shock (assuming you took the time to read the Luxe Mio review…). I absolutely can recommend the Blush Novelties Temptasia Elvira, especially if you are someone who really craves a nice, thick dildo but just don’t like the longer length that often accompanies girthier toys. It is also an excellent toy if you are like me and enjoy tightly clenching against a dildo rather than thrusting it like crazy (I mean… you can still thrust as much as you want to… there just isn’t a whole lot of length to work with… but you do what you want to do). Also, this dildo can be had for under 30 bucks! Yeah… you heard me… this is a fantastic toy that can be had on a reasonably small budget! And if you have read both this review and my Luxe Mio review and don’t know which toy to get… it all comes down to color… that is literally the only difference between these two toys, they are the exact same thing, so don’t get too bogged down in my reviews trying to find some secret and subtle difference… because you’ll be at it forever… you’ll become one of those paranoid people who cover their walls in pictures and bits of yarn connecting erroneous facts an claims… your friends will start to wonder about you… you’ll descend slowly into complete and utter madness… don’t go down that path. All you need to do is decide whether you prefer your dildo to be a lovely gothic black or a cheerful purple… everything else is the same. Both dildos are fabulous. You can’t go wrong owning either one of these silicone beauties! Unless you totally hate firm silicone… then maybe skip both of these and look for something softer.
The Blush Novelties Temptasia Elvira was provided to me free of charge by Blush Novelties in exchange for my honest review.