Blush Novelties Gaia Eco Bullet – Sex Toy Review
So, apparently today (3/18) is National Awkward Moments Day… I didn’t even know that was a thing until today… but honestly, this is my day ya’ll. My life is honestly just a long string of awkward moments with a little bit of sleep thrown in for good measure (where I of course hash over all the awkward things I did during the day). Okay, yeah… I hear you… National Awkward Moments Day is a bit of cool trivia and all,but what on Earth does that have to do with sex toys? Well… why don’t you just sit right on down and let ol’ Kitten here tell you a story.
Once upon a time I was a young, naive, and easily embarrassed eighteen year old lass who thought she knew it all and had her shit together better than most adults (HA!). And this young, smug, and yet still very easily embarrassed lass happened to be dating the boy next door (okay, it was rural Minnesota so “next door” really means someone who lives within at 20 mile radius at the very least)… and this boy next door was going to Arizona for Christmas instead of spending it with me, but before he left he dropped a gift off at my house with a note that read “open alone!” Gosh, I wish I had taken that note seriously… but, like the big sappy dope I was… I wanted my whole family to see what a super thoughtful and amazing dude my boyfriend was so I decided to disregard that note and open my gift while sitting around the Christmas three with MY WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY. Let’s just picture that for a moment… so there was me sitting in the middle of my sisters, brother, parents and yes… grandparents… everyone was there that year… God, I am mortified just thinking about this… this is a story I have buried deep down inside… I hope you appreciate that I am dredging this terribly awkward moment in my past just to entertain you on this most sacred of holidays… National Awkward Moments Day.
Okay, so there I am with the whole family and everyone is unwrapping the last of their gifts and things are starting to wind down… so I see this is my chance to get all eyes on me! “I’ve got one more gift!” I stupidly announce. “My boyfriend left it for me before he went to Arizona, isn’t he so thoughtful!” I ripped open the green and white paper and was INSTANTLY HORRIFIED… my stupid ass brain thought for sure it was going to be jewelry… or chocolate… or at the very least some kind of terrible 90’s music cd mix he made for me… but no… it was a FUCKING BULLET VIBRATOR! My Grandma was all “hold it up dear so we can all see!” AVERT YOUR EYES GRANDMA, THIS IS NOT FOR YOU! I am pretty sure I turned an incredibly deep shade of red and no doubt I was sweating like a sinner in church as I clutched that half unwrapped vibrator… I quickly excused myself and bolted for the garage ( I don’t know why… it was the only room I could think of at the time). I was so embarrassed… I ended up just burying the vibe deep down in the trash can in the garage and tried never to think about that moment again.
These days, receiving a sex toy most likely wouldn’t phase me in the slightest… you could hand me a double ended dong in the middle of a group of nuns and I would probably be able to roll with it (or at least fake confidence until I got home and collapsed in a puddle of fierce anxiety and rehashed that moment over and over and over until the whole situation is warped into something beyond recognition…).
I really wish I could remember what kind of bullet he had bought, we never spoke about it… I was just too mortified about the whole thing to ever talk about it and he never brought it up and then not long after that we broke up. But now I would like to know if my then boyfriend had good taste in vibes or if it was just some kind of shitty bullet he picked up at a Spender’s Gifts… or worse… the weird local truck stop that also inexplicably carries a wide variety of shitty sex toys. Even though I’ll probably never know what that awkward Christmas bullet was… I do have the good fortune of being able to open up plenty of other boxes filled with sex toys (and I don’t even have to wait for Christmas) like the one I recently received from Peepshow Toys which contained a most excellent selection o toys including the Blush Novelties Gaia Eco Bullet!
I’ve been super various about this vibe for a little while now. Mostly I wanted to know how the “eco” part worked… I of course had visions of the scratchy eco-friendly, recycled toilet paper my Mom buys and imagined this bullet to have the same terrible cardboardy texture… because I guess that’s what “eco” has come to mean to me. I am happy to report that the Gaia Eco Bullet does not have a scratchy toilet paper texture to it, in fact, it’s got a wonderfully smooth, polished plastic feel to it. Blush calls this material BioFeel… which is a starch-based bioplastic… which is a polymer compound material mixed with corn starch… which basically just feels like normal plastic. Reading that it was made from corn starch immediately made me worry that this bullet would be something single use (I had visions of leaving it in my wet vagina too long and having it begin to degrade right then and there) or that it would be super delicate… as if it was made of just wet corn starch someone molded and let dry… and if you touched it… it would just crumble… none of this is true, as it turns out, it is just as tough as any other bullet vibe and even though it may sound all weird and hippy-dippy, it’s just as nonporous and nontoxic as ABS plastic. But unlike your typical ABS plastic vibe, the Gaia BioFeel material is recyclable (in select facilities) and biodegradable (in commercial compost). Blush also says that the production of this vibrator produces fewer greenhouse gasses than your average toy. A really interesting material concept and something that I hope more companies (both sex toy and mainstream manufacturers) experiment with, this climate crisis is no joke and our deep dependence on plastics aren’t helping! Okay, sure… you still need to take this vibe to a special facility and can’t just toss it into your own household composting or recycle bin… and sure, not everyone who owns the Gaia Eco Bullet will dispose of it properly… but it is at least a step in the right direction. We need a good push in the direction of sustainable plastics and need to start new conversations around the whole concept of recycling (its more than just your pop cans…). Honestly, the Gaia Eco Bullet is worth buying just to support this step towards sustainability… if sex toys can be crafted of an eco friendly material… there is no reason other products can’t follow!
Alright, I’m stepping down from my eco-warrior soap box (I grew up with Captain Planet… you can’t blame me). But there is something else we need to talk about before we go any further with this bullet review… let’s talk about price. How much do you imagine this little eco-friendly bullet costs? Surely that fancy-pants BioFeel material drives up the price? You’re thinking, “sure, it feels good to save the planet… but I don’t want to empty my wallet over it… not for a bullet vibe.” So, what are you thinking? Twenty dollars? Twenty-Five dollars? Maybe even upwards of thirty or beyond? If you guessed any of those you would be WRONG! Much to my great surprise, the Blush Novelties Gaia Eco Bullet is currently priced at a very easy on the wallet $7! Yeah… you heard me right… SEVEN DOLLARS! This is as budget as a budget vibe can get! Any cheaper and Blush would just be paying you to use it. Hot damn, I love when I find a good budget toy…
Again, I hear what your saying… “So what, it’s cheap… but does it work?” Well, in a word… YES! I honestly didn’t think I wouldn’t be this blown away by a $ bullet vibe. Maybe it’s because I set my expectations so low… but I really did end up being super impressed by this toy! It was much more powerful than I was expecting and what’s even better… it was much rumblier than expected! My general experience with cheap vibrators is that the vibrations are very weak and mostly comprised of surface level buzz that never really does anything for me… and this is kind of what I was expecting out of the Gaia Eco Bullet… but it’s strong. I mean, it’s not like Tango strong… but for a seven dollar battery powered vibrator… it is pretty damn great! Honestly, I orgasmed easier with this $7 bullet then I did with some of my more pricey vibes (I’m looking specifically at you Iroha vibrators…)… although, it wasn’t quite the overpowering wave of OMG YES that I get from something with a lot more oomph to it (e.g. Doxy or Hitachi)… but for a bullet vibe, it’s great.
Operating the Gaia Eco Bullet is as easy as any other single button bullet vibe. Just give the button at the very bottom of the bullet a click and it starts right up then when you are finished just give it another click and off it goes. Something else I find kind of wild about the Gaia Eco Bullet is that it is single speed… and its single speed is actually a speed I enjoyed! Usually with a single speed toy the speed is set to something ridiculously unsatisfying for me. I am the kind of person who always pumps their vibes up to their top end settings, I’m rarely a bottom setting gal… so… it is pretty exception for a single speed toy to have a setting I like… I mean, that isn’t to say I wouldn’t love to feel it go higher… faster… rumblier… but since I have to work with what I got… what I got isn’t a terrible place to start!
The Blush Novelties Gaia Eco Bullet is powered by a single AAA battery (which also makes the vibrations it does have feel impressive… battery toys are often a let down, although more and more I’m finding good ones… so maybe this is something that is getting better over time) which is not included. I had to rob my Iroha Rin of one of batteries it came with. I have a whole freaking box of AA’s that I’ve found… but of course now that I have AA batteries up the wazoo, I’ll only ever need AAA… because such is life.
Color-wise, I’m a fan. I am particularly fond of my particular Eco Bullet, the color is official called “Aqua” but it really looks like a pretty robins egg blue to me, complete with the speckles one would find on a robins egg. The colors really seem pretty nature inspired to me (which would make since…if the theme of this toy is “eco”), besides the Aqua (featured in this review) the Gaia Eco Bullet also comes in a Coral (which looks more pink than coral to me… but it could also be my computer screen… its having issues displaying colors correctly… I think its time to upgrade to something more modern) and Green.
Another thing I really like about the Gaia Eco Bullet is that I think it will travel well. I think this is one of those vibrators that is perfect for tossing into a suitcase, purse, or overnight bag and not having to worry about it until you are ready to use it. Just pop the battery out and you won’t be worrying about any accidental turn ons (although, if you do live dangerously and leave the battery in while traveling, you may have your own story to share for National Awkward Moments Day next year…). Also, if you accidentally loose it… give it away to a one night stand you meet in some far away city… or break it… you aren’t out all that much money (also, I’ve done each and every one of those things with sex toys I’ve traveled with… some toys much more expensive than this… it hurts to loose a $100+ toy). Currently Peepshow Toys is carrying it for $7, but I have seen it listed for $8 and $9 in some places… but no matter where you buy it… it doesn’t seem like you will be out any more than $10 if you have an oopsie with it.
I think I can honestly recommend the Blush Novelties Gaia Eco Bullet as an excellent vibrator for anyone who is looking for a vibrator but needs to keep it under $30. The single speed vibration is reasonably strong and pretty rumbley for a battery powered vibe. As excited as I am about the vibrations from this humble bullet, I don’t want to oversell it… don’t think you have found an under $10 vibrator equal to something like FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet but for what it is (a single speed, battery powered bullet) and how much it is, color me impressed.
Interested in trying the Blush Novelties Gaia Eco Bullet out for yourself? Pick one up at Peepshow Toys! Also… how would you like to make an already cheap toy even cheaper?! Use the code KITTEN at checkout to score a sweet 10% off!
The Blush Novelties Gaia Eco Bullet was provided to me free of charge by Peepshow Toys in exchange for my honest review.