Hot Octopuss Atom – Sex Toy Review
Okay, I know I literally just posted a review describing how much I hate vibrating cock rings… but in a shocking turn of events I have stumbled onto a vibrating cock ring that I actually *gasp* like! I know, I am just as surprised as you are! I guess I have SheVibe to thank for this… they are the ones who sent the Hot Octopuss Atom my way. So, uhh.. yeah… thanks for that!
If Hot Octopuss sounds familiar, you may have already seen my Queen Bee or Pulse III Duo reviews. If you are not familiar with Hot Octopuss, then where have you been? I’ll give you a moment to click on those links and familiarize yourself… don’t worry, I can wait… go on and do it. I am not moving on until you do…. and I am a stay at home blogger, so I can wait all day. Finished? Excellent, on with the show! So, one of the reasons I was really surprised by how much I enjoyed the Atom is because my previous experiences with Hot Octopuss toys has been just… so-so. The toys are very unique, the concepts are awesome, the design is amazing, the quality is top notch… there is just something in the way they operate that has always thrown me off a bit. I think my issue has been the oscillations versus vibrations thing… its a very different sensation to me… like its almost familiar but there is just something a little bit… off about it and my whole nether region just doesn’t seem to know how to process that new information so it just sits there a bit dumbfounded… like… I know we should like how this feels but we are also confused by it. So I guess I was imagining the Atom would follow in the tradition of the Hot Octopuss toy line and be something that was cool but would ultimately just confuse my genitals. So whats so different about the Atom? VIBRATIONS! Yes, I think that is the big difference between why I like this Hot Octopuss toy so much more than the other two… it has regular old vibrations that my body knows how to work with!
Hot Octopuss describes the Atom as “the next generation in cock rings.” Okay there… hold your horses kids… let’s not get too cocky now. While I admit, it is a fantastic vibrating cock ring… I’m not sure what is “next generation” about it… unless they consider next generation to mean a vibrating cock ring that actually works for the extremely picky Kitten Boheme. Although that would be super specific… so I’m guessing thats not it. But honestly though, what is next gen about it?! Its rechargeable? Okay… yeah… but so are a bunch of other vibrating cock rings. It’s rumbly? Well… again, so other other cock rings? Is there some kind of super secret hidden feature that I don’t know about? Is it also a wi-fi hub? Because that would be cool… I could get behind a combination vibrating cock ring and wi-fi hot spot. I’m going to go with cocky marketing… but it is a great cock ring… so I won’t fault them for it too much.
Much like the VeDO Roq I just reviewed, the Hot Octopuss Atom is another beastly sized cock ring, but I find the shape of this one slightly less awkward (although I do kind of miss that little clitoral nub of the Roq). The whole cock ring kit and caboodle measures 3.5 inches from one end to the other and is a whopping 2.5 inches at its widest. This is literally a palm sized cock ring… its huge. Other than being huge, the Atom is a black silicone ring with a pretty large surface area, normally I am not a fan of broad stimulation… but it seems almost necessary with these vibrating cock rings, just because there is seemingly no way to achieve precision when a cock is bouncing wildly around my nether regions… a large surface area ensures that something is bound to hit my clit with each thrust. But its that uncertainty that drives me the most bonkers about vibrating cock rings, I like a steady contact between my clit and the source of vibration… so when the vibration disappears with the end of each thrust… well… I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. I think some of my issue is also that I have a shy little clit, it hides away from the world (much like the rest of me does) so just bumping vibration in the general vicinity of my clit isn’t enough, there is usually too much of a labia buffer between my pleasure button (yes, I said pleasure button… and yes, I now hate myself for it… but what is done is done) for the vibrations to really get through… so I end up with muffled and unpredictable vibrations… and I just can’t work with that. BUT, the Atom has some pretty powerful vibrations… vibrations that were powerful enough to actually fight their way through the labia gatekeepers and into the chambers of the awaiting clit (I’m reading a fantasy novel right currently… clearly that is where my brain is right now). The deep rumble of the Hot Octopuss Atom is enough for me to actually feel it strongly against my clit, even when it is being shy. I really was super impressed with the power of this cock ring, even on the lowest intensity setting, the vibrations are all deep and rumbly (although as you push the intensity up I feel like I can detect a slight buzz to it, but its not at all bad).
ALSO… I discovered something the last time my Stunt Cock and I used it… and this is probably going to sound so ridiculously basic and you are all going to no doubt roll your eyes at me and go “well, yeah duuuuuuh” but bear with me here. Apparently when using a vibrating cock ring while positioned doggy style… the cock ring stays in contact with my clit almost the entire freaking time! Unless my Stunt Cock goes for a super long thrust where he pulls out almost all the way, the Atom and my clit were nearly inseparable friends. MY MIND IS BLOWN! Honestly… how have I NEVER realized this before. Have I honestly only engaged in missionary style sex with vibrating cock rings? Why have I never thought to change positions… I feel like suddenly my eyes are open… there is a whole new world waiting for me out there… do I… do I actually like vibrating cock rings? No… no I probably still don’t… except for the rare exception.
Controlling the Atom is easy… or at least its easy until its actually on a moving cock… because changing the settings mid-sex becomes something like catching a lubed up pig at a county fair. There is a metallic (what I assume is plastic) band with Hot Octopuss’ crown logo in the middle, and on either side of that band are matching metallic silver (+) and (-) buttons. You use those to control the up and down speed of the Atom. The power button sits right under the minus button, and is a small raised bump in the silicone. Press and hold that bump to turn the toy on and repeat said pressing and holding to turn the toy off again. Pressing the power button also cycles you through Atom’s five pattern modes… should you want to do that sort of thing, personally patterns always feel especially useless to me on a cock ring (but thats just me… you may enjoy them). On the other side, underneath the plus button sits the toys charging port. Slid the little pronged end of the included charging cable into that whole and plug the USB end into a computer or wall charging box thingy (you know, like those things that come with your cell phones). And while we are talking about charging… it takes this thing an incredibly long two hours to fully charge… so if you know you are going to want to use it… plug it in early on in the day, so you aren’t like us… we got all frisky and I was all “OH! LETS TEST THE ATOM” and we pull it out and discover… oh, it needs to charge… and suddenly we were waiting in sex limbo for this thing to charge.
Okay, remember how somewhere up above I was all “boo hooo boo hooo I miss that little clitoral nub of the Roq!” That was a little bit misleading, because on the Atom there is a very slightly raised little lump on one side of the Atom, its just not nearly as pronounced as that VeDO Roq nub, but it is still there. When the cock ring was on my Stunt Cock, the nub didn’t really seem to make much of a difference… the nub on the VeDO managed to weasel its way between my labia and hit my clit… the nub on the Atom just isn’t as pronounced and didn’t really do much for me while the Atom was attached to a penis. However, I also tested the Atom Solo and sans cock. I just used the Atom like I would any other external vibe and placed it against my clit and kind of rolled the nub back and forth, kind of grinding against it. This worked REALLY well for me. I kind of wish the Atom wasn’t a cock ring at all and was actually a vibrating bullet… then this toy would be perfect!
Getting the ring onto my Stunt Cock was a bit of a challenge, the silicone isn’t all that stretchy and it took me playing with it and stretching it to ‘warm it up’ so to speak. The space is very nearly 1.5 inches in diameter and I’m guessing I was able to maybe stretch it out to almost 3 inches. I think this should be adequate enough to accommodate most penis girths, but if you are in possession of one of those porn star sized penises, it might be tougher for you to get the Atom on. My Stunt Cock was pleased that the Atom fit nice and snug but not uncomfortably tight. I was pleased that it was tight enough to give his cock what I’ve dubbed the ‘living dildo effect’ which is when his cock starts to engorge and the skin gets all slick and shiny and veins begin to bulge and it takes on a darker color and the whole thing looks unreal to me… kind of like a dildo. So, as a cock ring… the Atom does what a cock ring should do!
I think my biggest criticism of the Hot Octopuss Atom (other than its not a vibrating bullet) is that it is LOUD. You aren’t sneaking this toy to mom and dads house this Christmas for any discreet foray in your old bedroom. Everyone walking by is going to hear it. During testing, I commented mid-sex that it sounded like we had trapped a very panicked muppet between our genitals. Stunt Cock couldn’t hold it together after that and just laughed and got all soft and squishy inside me… I guess somehow thinking about muppets is a giant mood killer. So yeah, if you are looking for something whisper quiet… its not this… when you put this on, you just need to own up to the fact that you are using a super charged vibrating cock ring that sounds like someone is operating a tiny chainsaw in your house. And I guess whatever you do, don’t mention terrified muppets.
Okay… wait, I have another criticism actually. So… the Atom works well… almost too well for my Stunt Cock. The vibrations are deep, rumbly, and strong… and travel right through his shaft…especially when I crank the vibrations to its top end speed… and what this means is that sometimes he ends up orgasming waaaaaaay sooner than I’m ready for. I mean… sure this is great for him… but what about me and my needs? Actually, I’m pretty happy that it works well for him… that means if there are days we are using it and I’m just not feeling it with the vibrating cock ring… I know that it is doing something for him.
Overall, I am pretty impressed with the Hot Octopuss Atom. I wasn’t the biggest fan of their other products, but I think the Atom is a real winner and I hope to see more toys similar to this (a vibrating bullet – hint, hint). This is honestly one of the few vibrating cock rings I could see myself using again… which is a pretty big deal. The ring itself is quite well made, the materials are excellent, the aesthetics are minimalist and modern… all and all its just a really nice ring. The only thing I would like to see different in any future updates to the Atom is maybe including a remote, it would be nice to be able to control the toys speeds/patterns without having to stop everything.
If you end up shopping for a Hot Octopuss Atom, you will no doubt run into a second version of this toy called the Hot Octopuss Atom Plus and you may think to yourself “well what the fuck do I do now?” Don’t worry… I’ve got your back on this… the Hot Octopuss Atom (the toy featured in this review) goes around your shaft only (unless you can manage to get it to stretch out more than we were able) and the vibrations are all concentrated on the upper end, the part of the toy that is hitting your partners clit and will give your shaft a nice tickle as well. The Atom Plus has the ability to stretch over both the shaft and balls and houses dual integrated motors, which allows the toy to stimulate the the perineum as well as vibrating the shaft and your partners clit. So which one you choose really comes down to what do you want to do with this cock ring… the Atom Plus will give the wearer a bit more of an experience than the Atom, but both have equally strong and rumbly vibes… so I don’t think you can go wrong either way. Just follow your heart… or some other such inspirational bullshit… or follow your wallet, the Atom is at least 15ish dollars cheaper than the Atom Plus in most cases.
The Hot Octopuss Atom was provided to me free of charge by SheVibe in exchange for my honest opinion.