Kiiroo Onyx – Sex Toy Review
The Onyx is the penis half of Kiiroo’s duo of teledildonic toys. I can feel you raising an intrigued yet puzzled eyebrow. You are wondering what in the world a teledildonic toy even is, aren’t you? If you already know what it is, then you are already smarter than I am, good job! So, teledildonic… Basically, it’s a wi-fi compatible sex robot. Or, in more sciencey speak – teledildonics refers to remote sex with real feelings of touch transmitted through computers. Sex robots sound much cooler though. I’m probably over simplifying it and it is probably way more technical and fancy than that… but I think that is the gist of it. Wikipedia is your friend if you really need to know more!
When I first started seeing advertisements for Kiiroo pop up I was pretty excited, the whole thing sounded pretty interesting to me. High-tech sex? Count me in! Sadly, the price tag and vague reviews I was seeing in the beginning kept me from jumping in, even though I frequently get questions from people asking if I I’ve tried either of the Kiiroo products and if I would recommend them.
So when Eden’s Toy Store agreed to send me the Kiiroo Onyx in exchange for a review I was super stoked. I can finally start answering people’s questions with a real answer and not a shrug and a smile.
Unfortunately there was a bit of a set back when the Kiiroo Onyx arrived. My packaged arrived on one of the coldest days we had that week, I believe people were saying it was something like -40 with the windchill and I was of course gone for the weekend, so my poor Kiiroo sat in my mailbox, freezing. When I was finally able to rescue it from the great outdoors the Fleshlight sleeve was frozen into a solid brick. And when it thawed out, it was misshapen and a bit ugly. It never really recovered from being frozen… you can see how lumpy and weird it is in some of my pictures. I assume if you are going to purchase a Kiiroo Onyx and live someplace with more reasonable weather, your sleeve wont be so ugly. The Onyx device itself also had a bit of trouble over coming the extreme weather and I couldn’t get it to hold a charge or function appropriately. Thankfully, with a little troubleshooting we were able to get it to charge up and turn on, hooray!
Since I don’t have the Pearl (the insertable half of the duo) or a second Onyx this review is pretty much focused on how this worked out for us solo, with both the app and the interactive content that was available to us.
With my Stunt Cock’s help, we first tested the Onyx on it’s own without connecting it to the computer or phone. To turn the device on just hold down the red “multifunctional button” (as they call it) for 4 seconds and the device will power on and Bluetooth mode will be active and the device is ready to be paired with a phone or computer. The Onyx has four modes: Manual Mode – Alone, Manual Mode – Two Way, Fast Pump and Slow Pump. You cycle through these various modes by pressing that red button I mentioned earlier.
Manual Mode is what I found the most interesting. In Manual mode you control the Onyx by sliding your finger over the shiny black touch pad, allowing the user to masturbate with just the swipe of a finger, no exhausting thrusts necessary. As you move your finger up and down the panel the rings inside of the toy contract and release along the shaft of the penis, which creates – for lack of a better word- wave-like motion. Pretty neat stuff. If you are using the two way manual mode, once you have logged onto the platform you swipe up on the touch pad and you are in control and can send dat to another onyx while controlling your own device. If your partner swipes up first, they are in control. I can not vouch for how well this half of manual mode works, as I did not have another toy to test this out with. In theory, I find the idea pretty cool.
Next we tried to pair it with the computer so we could use the interactive content online. We had zero luck with this. I do almost all of my work from a Mac computer, so it required that I download the Feel Connect program out of the the itunes store, which I was able to do no problem. Sadly, the Feel Connect software would not install on my computer, just wouldn’t work. So, testing out any interactive content was a bust.
That left us with just the phone. Once again I downloaded the Feel Connect program, this time to my phone. Got it all loaded up and paired it with the Onyx and…. nothing really happened. It gives me a blue screen and a button that says “slide me” so I do… and… nothing… so I slide it again and again and again… I occasionally got the very short bit of movement in response to my sliding, but over all, it seemed to be a dud. But I decided to restart everything and give it one more try, this time I was able to get the “slide me” button to control the toy. It seems very hit or miss on if the app will actually connect and control the toy, which is super frustrating!
I am sad to report that no orgasms were had using this device. I think the lack of thrusting really threw my Stunt Cock’s penis off. I think maybe if we were able to get some of the online content to work things may have been different, Stunt Cock is a visual person and I think seeing and feeling would have made all the difference. Or maybe the Onyx would benefit from some kind of secondary stimulation, like vibration to help the user reach orgasm when the rings aren’t cutting it. Also, my Stunt Cock thinks that the opening to the Kiiroo is rather small, which could limit the device to those with penises with average girth. Which I suppose also means if you happen to have a penis much thinner than the average penis the rings inside of the Kiiroo may not grip your penis quite as tightly, possibly lessening the toys impact. I don’t personally have a penis and have only tested the device with my finger… but if your penis is like my finger, then yes… you may be disappointed.
While writing this review, I turned the Feel Connect app back on just to make sense of my notes and I noticed that there was a firmware update for the Onyx. I was excited, I thought maybe this would solve some of the difficulties I was having with my Onyx. No such luck, I can’t get the update to download. It gives me a timeout error every time I try to download the update. So, as far as app controlled toys, the We-Vibe We-Connect stuff seems leaps and bounds ahead of the Feel Connect app… so if you are looking for some long distance fun, I feel more inclined to recommend a We-Vibe toy at this point.
With how hard I worked to get this toy up and running I find myself kind of hating that a user manual is not included in the packaging. Instead, you are given a little card that instructs you to head to kiiroo.com/manuals. The card reads that this is an effort to save trees, which I totally respect and give kudos for the thought, but at the same time, this toy is complicated enough that I would like a paper copy in front of me to follow along while I figure out how this toy works. I normally just toss manuals aside and fly by the seat of my pants when I am testing a toy, but the Onyx was just confusing enough that I was desperately searching for a manual in the box, and even when I loaded up the online manual I found myself really wishing for more help and information.
Mostly unrelated to the actual functioning and use of the Onyx, but I would just like to point out that the Kiiroo user manual misspells the word masturbate. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I don’t feel good… that’s for sure.
At a glance, the Onyx is a pretty sturdy looking bit of tech, it is also very discreet (for something so enormous) nothing about it really screams sex toy. I currently have it sitting on my desk and it looks like a storage box more than anything else. A really weird, ominous looking storage box. Like a storage box that could hiss open and smoke would rise out of the top as it revealed some kind of great mystery. In use the Onyx is pretty loud and sounds very robotic. If you fantasize about having sex with robots, the noise could be an asset, otherwise it’s a bit weird and off-putting.
The Kiiroo Onyx charges via a micro USB and it is about four hours of charge for about one hour of playtime. I really feel like I get less than an hours worth of use out of this toy before it goes dead though. It has a small red light that will pulsate to let you know when the device needs to charge up, the light will glow a solid red when it is ready to use again.
My particular Onyx was branded as the “Tanya Tate Experience” which in the end appears to really mean absolutely nothing at all. A meaningless marketing scheme. As far as I could tell, beyond the packaging, I couldn’t find any connection to our chosen porn starlets and our particular Kiiroo. I was kind of figuring we would be given access to some kind of Tanya Tate online content or something, but unless I am missing something, this doesn’t appear to be true. It is just sexy porn star packaging on a regular Kiiroo Onyx.
The inner sleeve of the Onyx is made from the same material you find in Fleshlight sleeves. Soft, a bit skin-like, and porous. You will want to wash the sleeve and dry completely after each use. You may want to consider using a Fleshlight Renewing Powder to keep the material soft and matte, otherwise it can get a bit stiff and tacky. I’ve seen some people report that you can use cornstarch for this purpose and avoid buying the Fleshlight branded powder. How well this works, I can not say, but you are free to research that one on your own! Since the material is porous I do not recommend sharing this toy with a partner, unless you are changing the sleeve between people (replacement sleeves can be found at Fleshlight.com). Also, be on the look out for any rips, black spots, discoloration, or weird smells. These warning signs mean your sleeve is deteriorating or the presences of mildew. Obviously due to the high-tech bits and bobs inside, the outer shell is not waterproof, if you need to clean it wipe it down with a damp cloth or a baby wipe.
Right now, I liken the Kiiroo Onyx to the bag-phone. Remember those? If you are too young… google it. Bag-phones are what cellphones used to be. I remember when my Dad bought one for the car, that way when we were out and about and his beeper (Ha! Beepers… remember those?) went off he didn’t have to rush to the nearest payphone (Payphone, whaaaaat, how fucking old am I?!) … he could just use the portable phone in the car. It was cutting edge technology I tell you! But it was big, it was clumsy, and it didn’t always work that well. But it was hip and new, so we were cool for owning one. This is the Kiiroo Onyx… it is awesome because it is something new and interesting… but it’s clunky. You need serious arm strength and a wide grip to hold onto this thing. It is one of those things that I can see becoming really popular once the technology is a bit more advanced, right now it just feels like a clunky bag-phone technology baby that is neat to own but really impractical if you stop to think about it. There is without a doubt potential here… It just isn’t quite there yet for me.
So, do I recommend the Kiiroo Onyx? I’m not sure. On the one hand, it is a pretty neat idea and pretty exciting technology. But on the other hand, it didn’t work all that spectacularly well for us, lots of issues… but to be fair, it is hard to say what is a design flaw of the Onyx over all and what is an isolated incident to my particular Onyx due to being caught in extreme weather. So I guess my opinion is, if it is something that you are really interested in and have the money to throw at it, go for it. Overall the Kiiroo Onyx appears to be a quality toy. But, mostly I think I recommend waiting to see if they come out with a second generation of Onyx, something that maybe has some advancement in the technology being used. I don’t know, I’m not super impressed, even though I want to be. Like I said though, I’m not 100% sure my device is working to its full potential. If you are looking for something to use via app or to control long distance I suggest maybe looking into one of We-Vibe’s We-Connect compatible vibrator. If you are just looking for a masturbator, you might be better off sticking to the trusty old Fleshlight sleeve.
If you think you will have better luck (and maybe live in a warmer climate) and want to give the Kiiroo Onyx a try, you can find both the Kiiroo Onyx and Pearl at Eden’s Toy Box!
The Kiiroo Onyx was provided to me free of charge by Eden’s Toy Box in exchange for my honest review.