Lelo Luna Beads Noir – Sex Toy Review
Well, this is a long review in the making. I have owned these Lelo Luna Beads Noir for well over a year now. I had purchased them for my own personal use, I had every intention of wearing them around regularly and with seriousness, but like any good habit I try to start, I instantly failed at it within the first few days. They were quickly forgotten about as newer and cooler toys came in for review, that is at least until a few weeks ago when they were rediscovered. I stumbled across the black box containing my Luna Beads while I was cleaning and organizing my sex toy collection and I realized I hadn’t really done anything with them and I feel totally weird buying any kind of sex toy or adult product without reviewing it, so I thought it was about time I pulled them out and wrote down my thoughts. The first thing I realized, as I started this review is that Kegel balls are actually kind of a hard one to review, because I can’t just slip it in and say “Yep! They work!” I mean… I could, but that would be cheating. So, because I love you all and think you deserve only the very best from me, I finally wore these Kegel balls around for a few weeks, so I could tell you how it goes. You’re welcome.
The first question some of you may have are “what the hell are you talking about?” So, let’s get that one out of the way first. The Lelo Luna Beads are a type of Kegel ball (or Ben Wa ball) that is meant to be inserted vaginally and worn around for an extended period of time, with the idea that the weighted balls will strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. I’m sure you have heard people talk about doing Kegel exercises, where you squeeze your pelvic muscles tight, then release… and do it over and over again. Well, think of the Luna Beads as free weights at the gym… sure, body weight will give you a work out, but sometimes you need to step it up and add a dumbbell or two. That more or less sums up the Lelo Luna Beads… vagina weights. Ready to pump some iron?
The Lelo Luna Beads Noir are beautifully packaged, the outer sleeve of the box is a classy depiction of the product itself, plus product information, and the inner box is a sturdy, textured black box and inside that you will find the Luna Beads themselves nestled into velvety black foam. Also included in the packaging is a black satin storage pouch, a 1-year warranty card, the instructional booklet, as well as a sample of Lelo’s personal lubricant. The storage bag is a nice touch, although the box itself is very sturdy and makes for great storage, I’m not sure I ever see myself using the satin bag. Maybe if I was traveling and space was tight… then again, if space was that tight, I’d just store them up in my hoo-ha. So, yes… extra storage bag seems excessive to me. But whatever… let’s not get hung up on that.
The beads themselves about the size of a small vending machine bouncy ball and are made from a somewhat translucent ABS plastic (which is body safe and non-porous), while the harness they sit in is made from silicone with a nylon retrieval string. Within each of the balls are a smaller ball (the weight) that rolls around inside the plastic shell. I can feel it gently bumping around when I move (which, call me weird, I think is kind of a cool feeling…). It is this movement of the rolling weights that do all the work, as you move about the weights inside the Luna Beads shift and roll, which activates your PC muscles. Why do you want stronger PC muscles? I’ve read that the benefits of stronger PC muscles range from having stronger orgasms and better penis in vagina sex to better bladder control (if you have had a baby and now pee when you sneeze or laugh… strengthening those pelvic floor muscles may help). Strengthening your PC muscles will also aid in prenatal preparation and postpartum recovery, so go ahead and throw a set of Lelo Luna Beads into that baby shower gift…
As just a quick side note here, the Lelo Luna Beads are not meant to be used during sex and are not made to give you an orgasm while using them (although if you have one, more power to you!). They are not exactly a ‘sex toy’ but they are a toy that could enhance sex… make sense? I had this conversation just recently with a man who wanted to buy a set for his wife because she “hates dildos.” I tried to explain to him that these weren’t really a sex toy and there wouldn’t really be any kind of instant gratification with them, but he just looked at me like I had snakes coming out of my ears. You can’t say I didn’t try…
Now, my own personal experience with the Lelo Luna Beads has been a fairly positive one. The beads are very easy to insert and comfortable to wear around. and much like a tampon, once I had them inserted into the right spot I almost forgot they were there. If you are at all familiar with the Lelo Luna Beads Original, the Noir set is the size of the mini original beads, only with a heavier weight inserted inside. Where this seems to fail is that it seems like having the larger weight inside of the smaller case means there is much less room for the ball to roll around, giving the PC muscles less of a workout. I am by no means a Kegel expert, but I am guessing the smaller size and the heavier ball of the Noir are meant to give a more concentrated workout, the idea being it takes more effort to hold onto smaller balls with heavier beads. But compared to the original Luna Beads, I kind of felt like I was getting less of a workout. Granted, I used the Original Luna Beads what feels like forever ago and maybe I am remembering things wrong. But over all, I really like the Noir Beads.
In order to get the maximum results from your Lelo Luna Beads Noir you need to be both consistent about using them and active. If you are sedentary, your balls won’t roll around and activate those PC muscles, so the best time to insert the beads would be right before you go for a walk, head out to run errands, or anything else where you plan to be on your feet and active. The more you move the more the weighted beads will bounce around inside their plastic shell which means your muscles will be working harder.
Cleaning the Luna Beads is pretty easy, you can pop the beads out of their silicone harness and give everything a good wash. It is also possible to boil the beads and the harness, although never boil the beads for more than five minutes otherwise you risk deforming the plastic shells. The best way to sanitize the Luna Beads would be to put them into a bowl and then pour the boiling water over them, letting them sit for no more than five minutes. Dry completely before inserting them back into the silicone harness. Also, because the harness is made from silicone, avoid using silicone based lubes when inserting the beads.
I haven’t been wearing the Lelo Luna Beads Noir long enough to crush soda cans with a single squeeze, but I have noticed a bit of a difference, so I can tell you that they do work and I am excited to continue wearing the Luna Beads. I think anyone with a vagina can find some benefit from using a set of Luna Beads, it is exercise that you can do without really even thinking about it, just insert the beads and go about your day. It is seriously the laziest form of exercise…. which also happens to by my favorite type of exercise (I’m such a bad person). Even if all you want to do is re-enact the party scene from Fifty Shades of Grey as a bit of foreplay, the Luna Beads Noir are a great choice. They are also on the somewhat more affordable end of things, you can snag a set for under $50.00! I am going to keep using the Luna Beads and I’ll let you know if my opinion changes, but right now I totally recommend the Lelo Luna Beads Noir… now go, pump some iron with your bad ass vag!
Can’t wait to own your own set of Lelo Luna Beads Noir? You can find a set of your very own at some of my favorite retailers: SheVibe, Unbound, Lovehoney, Lovehoney (UK),, JouJou Australia and Luvoqa!
The Lelo Luna Beads Noir were purchased by Kitten Boheme with her own personal funds.