I’m feeling a little bit guilty here guys, I should have had this review out to you all AGES ago. Seriously, ages ago. When the Clone-A-Willy kit first arrived, I was ready to jump right in, all guns-a-blazing and gung ho. Until I pulled out the instructions and instantly became overwhelmed by how long it would actually take. I then curled up in a corner and quietly rocked myself back and forth, while chanting “I can do this. I can do this. I can do this…” to myself.
Also, I should note, that the Clone-A-Willy arrived right in the middle of my big move across the state… and while we waited for my own place to be ready, I was staying with family. “Hey ya’ll, I’m just going to borrow the kitchen for a few hours to clone a dick, is that cool?” Yeah… needless to say, actually finding privacy for the required amount of time to clone my stunt cock’s willy took some doing.
BUT… in the end, I did prevail! All hail Kitten, Queen of the Dildo Clones!
And now, after compiling all my thoughts and feels into a very large word document, I am finally ready to release my review out into the world with an apology for it taking approximately an entire summer to do (Bad Kitten, bad girl, naughty!).
So, When Lovehoney offered me a Clone-A-Willy Kit, I was ecstatic. Seriously, I was super excited by the idea of making my very own clone of my favorite penis. I kind of envisioned the whole process to be like those wax hand molds my friends and I used to do at the State Fair. We would all clasp hands and dip it down into a vat of hot wax, then be treated to an everlasting symbol of our friendship (that is at least until SOMEONE dropped it in the parking lot on the way out… you know who you are.) So yeah, I was pretty jazzed about testing out the Clone-A-Willy Vibrating Dildo Kit.
Surprisingly, my Stunt Cock didn’t take too much convincing either. I think he was sold on the idea when I told him he could now fulfill all his DP fantasies without the hastle of finding another penis. His dick could be in two places at once? Heck yeah!
Anyway, what arrived in the mail was a clear plastic tube (which later becomes the molding tube which you will insert your penis into) which was filled to the brim with (almost) all the necessary dildo molding materials. The packaging is brightly colored and the instructions makes the process look like there is lots of sexy fun to be had during the whole penis cloning ordeal. I was genuinely excited to pop that bad boy open and get to penis molding!
I should go ahead and admit right now, I’m not much of a DIY’er. Sure, I pin my fair share of projects on Pinterest, the same as everyone else, but I know each ‘make it yourself bathscrub’, and ‘build this coffee table for under $100‘ pin I pin is a straight up lie. I will never do those things. I enjoy the idea of being crafty, but as soon as the bottle of wood glue and tube of glitter is in front of me, I realize I’d rather be watching Doctor Who reruns on Netflix and binge eating an entire pan of brownies (store bought of course).
On the front of the packaging the Clone-A-Willy Kit claims that this whole process can be accomplished in 4 easy steps… boy do I find this a little misleading. This was by far the most stressful event of my life. For example, you have just two minutes to mix up the molding gel and get your penis inserted. TWO FREAKING MINUTES! Two minutes to mix, to help your partner maintain an erection, and to get the penis into the mold… all while the clock is counting down… tick tock tick tock. I know how the contests on those food network shows feel now… “JUST GET YOUR FOOD ON THE PLATE, GET SOMETHING ON THE PLATE!” (I’ve been watching a lot of Cutthroat Kitchen lately.)
Also, when you actually open up your package and pull out the instructions you’ll see that it actually is a 13 step process, full of more stress then a college final exam. Also, not everything you need for successful molding is included in the package. You are also going to need scissors, cardboard, a disposable mixing container or two, tape, and a measuring cup. Be sure you have all of these items rounded up before you begin doing anything! The Clone-A-Willy process moves QUICKLY! You don’t have time to search around for anything.
We took the instructions advice and used a cock ring (our handy-dandy Tantus Super Soft C-Ring to be exact!). I am incredibly glad that we did, the cock ring really helped to add some detail and texture to our end product that I think might have been otherwise lost had we just left the penis au naturel. I can see defined veins and skin texture on my cloned willy. We definitely lost some inches in translation… without the cock ring, I think it would have been even worse. I can’t be too hard on my Stunt Cock though, it is hard to stay fully erect with your penis balls deep in luke-warm goo, especially when your partner is laughing hysterically, instead of trying to keep everything sexy.
The Clone-A-Willy Kit produces a 100% body-safe silicone dildo. So, treat it the same way you would any silicone toy and avoid silicone based lubes. If you have included the vibrator, you won’t be able to boil it or throw it in the dishwasher to clean, so give it a scrub with soap and water.
My results were pretty awesome, I was worried it would come out a blob monster, or be full of air bubbles and be structurally weak. But somehow, I pulled it off, I cloned a willy and it looks like it was supposed to look! The only problem I encountered is that there is spot long the side where the vibrator veered off to the side instead of going straight down into the middle, and it produced a kind of thin spot where the silicone separated. Because of this, I’m not sure my cloned penis is going to get a whole lot of use – but I like looking at it just the same.
I can’t really review the toy in use in much detail as every penis will produce a different toy, but the silicone is firm and produced a nice matte finish. I’ve squeezed, bent, and abused my cloned willy and it has held up so far (I was worried about it splitting in half or something horrible like that). The vibrating aspect of it is weak and meh at best. If you really want your cloned penis to vibrate, I would look for something stronger to replace the included vibrator with (unless one-speed and weak is your thing). But, personally, I just want a straight up cloned silicone dildo, something I can proudly display and say “I made that. Me. All me.”
If I were to do this again (and I want to, I really want to!), I would forget the vibrating part all together. It added an extra step that created an over-flow of pink silicone disaster as I pushed it into the mold. Fun fact – don’t fill your penis mold to the top, because it turns out science is a real thing, and hot pink silicone gets displaced as you push solid objects in… big mess, big mistake.
Overall, the whole Clone-A-Willy experience was great. It was something my partner and I wouldn’t normally do (something most people don’t normally do?), it was good for a few laughs, it made for a cheap date night, and the end result was a neon pink version of a penis we can treasure forever (This is what your grandpops penis looked like way back in 2016, back when we had to walk to the Apple Store up-hill, both ways!). I really wish I had an extra set of hands while we made this, I would have loved to have been able to capture pictures of the whole cloning process! Sadly, I didn’t think to have my camera ready and I’m pretty sure my hands were already full enough!
So, my recommendation? Go buy yourself a Clone-A-Willy Kit. Just do it. You won’t regret it, even if you totally screw up the entire process, you are guaranteed some great laughs. Personally, I wouldn’t add the vibrator, I don’t think its worth it, but that’s up to you. There is nothing really wrong with it… other than being really weak and adding an extra step to your molding process. The Clone-A-Willy Kit comes in several different color choices, including glow in the dark! The hot pink is the color featured in this review, but you can also order neon purple, glow in the dark green, glow in the dark pink, glow in the dark blue, and a basic light pink skin toned version (currently I do not see any other realsitc skin tones listed on Lovehoney and I find that a big bummer.).
The Clone-A-Willy makes for a cheap date night, putting you back only $34.99 (a few bucks more if you want your cloned willy to glow in the dark!) and can be ordered directly from Lovehoney.com!