Clone-A-Willy Vibrating Dildo Kit – Sex Toy Review

I’m feeling a little bit guilty here guys, I should have had this review out to you all AGES ago. Seriously, ages ago. When the Clone-A-Willy kit first arrived, I was ready to jump right in, all guns-a-blazing and gung ho. Until I pulled out the instructions and instantly became overwhelmed by how long it would actually take. I then curled up in a corner and quietly rocked myself back and forth, while chanting “I can do this. I can do this. I can do this…” to myself.

Also, I should note, that the Clone-A-Willy arrived right in the middle of my big move across the state… and while we waited for my own place to be ready, I was staying with family. “Hey ya’ll, I’m just going to borrow the kitchen for a few hours to clone a dick, is that cool?” Yeah… needless to say, actually finding privacy for the required amount of time to clone my stunt cock’s willy took some doing.

BUT… in the end, I did prevail! All hail Kitten, Queen of the Dildo Clones!

And now, after compiling all my thoughts and feels into a very large word document, I am finally ready to release my review out into the world with an apology for it taking approximately an entire summer to do (Bad Kitten, bad girl, naughty!).

So, When Lovehoney offered me a Clone-A-Willy Kit, I was ecstatic. Seriously, I was super excited by the idea of making my very own clone of my favorite penis. I kind of envisioned the whole process to be like those wax hand molds my friends and I used to do at the State Fair. We would all clasp hands and dip it down into a vat of hot wax, then be treated to an everlasting symbol of our friendship (that is at least until SOMEONE dropped it in the parking lot on the way out… you know who you are.) So yeah, I was pretty jazzed about testing out the Clone-A-Willy Vibrating Dildo Kit.

Surprisingly, my Stunt Cock didn’t take too much convincing either. I think he was sold on the idea when I told him he could now fulfill all his DP fantasies without the hastle of finding another penis. His dick could be in two places at once? Heck yeah!

Anyway, what arrived in the mail was a clear plastic tube (which later becomes the molding tube which you will insert your penis into) which was filled to the brim with (almost) all the necessary dildo molding materials. The packaging is brightly colored and the instructions makes the process look like there is lots of sexy fun to be had during the whole penis cloning ordeal. I was genuinely excited to pop that bad boy open and get to penis molding!

I should go ahead and admit right now, I’m not much of a DIY’er. Sure, I pin my fair share of projects on Pinterest, the same as everyone else, but I know each ‘make it yourself bathscrub’, and ‘build this coffee table for under $100‘ pin I pin is a straight up lie. I will never do those things. I enjoy the idea of being crafty, but as soon as the bottle of wood glue and tube of glitter is in front of me, I realize I’d rather be watching Doctor Who reruns on Netflix and binge eating an entire pan of brownies (store bought of course).

So, I am coming at this DIY vibrating penis kit with very little actual DIY experience. But, in the end I did make a fairly successful copy of a human penis, so I have faith that you can too!

On the front of the packaging the Clone-A-Willy Kit claims that this whole process can be accomplished in 4 easy steps… boy do I find this a little misleading. This was by far the most stressful event of my life. For example, you have just two minutes to mix up the molding gel and get your penis inserted. TWO FREAKING MINUTES! Two minutes to mix, to help your partner maintain an erection, and to get the penis into the mold… all while the clock is counting down… tick tock tick tock. I know how the contests on those food network shows feel now… “JUST GET YOUR FOOD ON THE PLATE, GET SOMETHING ON THE PLATE!” (I’ve been watching a lot of Cutthroat Kitchen lately.)

Also, when you actually open up your package and pull out the instructions you’ll see that it actually is a 13 step process, full of more stress then a college final exam. Also, not everything you need for successful molding is included in the package. You are also going to need scissors, cardboard, a disposable mixing container or two, tape, and a measuring cup. Be sure you have all of these items rounded up before you begin doing anything! The Clone-A-Willy process moves QUICKLY! You don’t have time to search around for anything.

We took the instructions advice and used a cock ring (our handy-dandy Tantus Super Soft C-Ring to be exact!). I am incredibly glad that we did, the cock ring really helped to add some detail and texture to our end product that I think might have been otherwise lost had we just left the penis au naturel. I can see defined veins and skin texture on my cloned willy. We definitely lost some inches in translation… without the cock ring, I think it would have been even worse. I can’t be too hard on my Stunt Cock though, it is hard to stay fully erect with your penis balls deep in luke-warm goo, especially when your partner is laughing hysterically, instead of trying to keep everything sexy.

The Clone-A-Willy Kit produces a 100% body-safe silicone dildo. So, treat it the same way you would any silicone toy and avoid silicone based lubes. If you have included the vibrator, you won’t be able to boil it or throw it in the dishwasher to clean, so give it a scrub with soap and water.
My results were pretty awesome, I was worried it would come out a blob monster, or be full of air bubbles and be structurally weak. But somehow, I pulled it off, I cloned a willy and it looks like it was supposed to look! The only problem I encountered is that there is spot long the side where the vibrator veered off to the side instead of going straight down into the middle, and it produced a kind of thin spot where the silicone separated. Because of this, I’m not sure my cloned penis is going to get a whole lot of use – but I like looking at it just the same.

I can’t really review the toy in use in much detail as every penis will produce a different toy, but the silicone is firm and produced a nice matte finish. I’ve squeezed, bent, and abused my cloned willy and it has held up so far (I was worried about it splitting in half or something horrible like that). The vibrating aspect of it is weak and meh at best. If you really want your cloned penis to vibrate, I would look for something stronger to replace the included vibrator with (unless one-speed and weak is your thing). But, personally, I just want a straight up cloned silicone dildo, something I can proudly display and say “I made that. Me. All me.”

If I were to do this again (and I want to, I really want to!), I would forget the vibrating part all together. It added an extra step that created an over-flow of pink silicone disaster as I pushed it into the mold. Fun fact – don’t fill your penis mold to the top, because it turns out science is a real thing, and hot pink silicone gets displaced as you push solid objects in… big mess, big mistake.

Overall, the whole Clone-A-Willy experience was great. It was something my partner and I wouldn’t normally do (something most people don’t normally do?), it was good for a few laughs, it made for a cheap date night, and the end result was a neon pink version of a penis we can treasure forever (This is what your grandpops penis looked like way back in 2016, back when we had to walk to the Apple Store up-hill, both ways!). I really wish I had an extra set of hands while we made this, I would have loved to have been able to capture pictures of the whole cloning process! Sadly, I didn’t think to have my camera ready and I’m pretty sure my hands were already full enough!

So, my recommendation? Go buy yourself a Clone-A-Willy Kit. Just do it. You won’t regret it, even if you totally screw up the entire process, you are guaranteed some great laughs. Personally, I wouldn’t add the vibrator, I don’t think its worth it, but that’s up to you. There is nothing really wrong with it… other than being really weak and adding an extra step to your molding process. The Clone-A-Willy Kit comes in several different color choices, including glow in the dark! The hot pink is the color featured in this review, but you can also order neon purple, glow in the dark green, glow in the dark pink, glow in the dark blue, and a basic light pink skin toned version (currently I do not see any other realsitc skin tones listed on Lovehoney and I find that a big bummer.).

The Clone-A-Willy makes for a cheap date night, putting you back only $34.99 (a few bucks more if you want your cloned willy to glow in the dark!) and can be ordered directly from Lovehoney.com!

The Clone-A-Willy Vibrating Dildo Kit was sent to me by Lovehoney.com in exchange for my honest review.

Iroha+ Kushi by Tenga – Sex Toy Review

You may already be familiar with Tenga and their awesome line of male masturbation sleeves (check out my Air-Tech Masturbation Sleeve review!), but I personally lack a penis of my own, so I was pretty excited when Tenga introduced Iroha, their first line of female-oriented vibrators! Their clean, modern designs are super aesthetically pleasing, I love it.

Needless to say, I am a sucker for cute things. This toy could be a complete piece of shit (if you’ll pardon my language) and I would still squee all over it. Does it work? I don’t care, it’s cute. Does it help me to achieve orgasm in a pleasurable and efficient way? I don’t care, it’s cute. Is it plotting to take over the world by murdering all of its users? I DON’T CARE, IT’S CUTE!

Is this any way to review sex toys in an honest and informative manner? No, probably not. But… I don’t care. It’s so goddamn cute.

Just look at this darling, it looks like an abstract hedgehog. Or a seashell. Or a hedgehog who has dressed as a seashell for a costume party. Oh. For. Cute.

Beyond just being adorably elegant, the Kushi is also fantastically made, covered in a squishy, soft silicone and presented in one of the best storage containers I’ve encountered in a toy yet! Aesthetics-wise, the Kushi has a lot going for it. If I were to hold a sex toy beauty pageant and invite all my current vibrators to participate, the Kushi would be going home with the crown (The Je Joue MiMi would be the runner up, it looks like a tiny river rock.).

But, good looks alone don’t get me off (usually…).

The Kushi has five speeds and two rhythmic patterns. The two patterns I ignore completely, I’m not usually a pattern girl (with a few exceptions…), I mostly just like a steady stream of constant vibration against my clit, anything else can get frustrating real fast. The two included patterns aren’t bad, but there isn’t really anything note worthy about them either… use them if you like them, they are there… whatever. The five speeds are adequate. The Kushi’s strongest setting still falls well short of what I personally like, but it stills provides a surprisingly deep, rumbly vibration through all that silicone.

The “head” of the “hedgehog” is great for those times when I really want pin-point vibration concentrated right on my clit (or nipples, taint, etc). And, for those times when I’m just feeling a little too sensitive, I like to use the body to provide a broader spread of vibration, or to rub the textured ribs around/against my clit.

The Kushi arrived in a sturdy plastic box with a clear lid and a heavy black base. This both stores the Kushi in a clean, dust free environment, and also serves as the Kushi’s charging unit. The base charges the Kushi magnetically, all you do is connect the two control buttons on the underside of the toy to the two pins on the black base. Super simple! The base is powered by a USB cable, so easy to snap it into a laptop or USB compatible wall plug (my iPhone wall plug charges sex toys more often than it does my phone.).

Clean up is easy, even though gunk does get stuck between the ridges of the textural detailing, it is waterproof and can be easily dunked/run under water. Also, the folks at Tenga have clearly cast some kind of magical spell or created an tiny invisible force field around the Kushi, because honest to God, this is the first silicone toy I have ever owned that actually seems to repel lint. No joke, this is the least linty toy I have yet used.

At this point in my review I would just like to point out that whenever I share the Kushi with anyone, I make a “three seashells” joke. Because Demolition Man is one of my favorite movies and I will never apologize for that. NEVER.

Do I recommend the Iroha+ Kushi by Tenga? The design is unique, you’ll likely not own anything else quite like it in your toy collection, it is easy to use, clean and keep charged up and the addition of the storage case is awesome (however an added travel pouch would have been amazin.) For those reasons, I don’t think you can go wrong with adding the Kushi to your collection. But, are hungry for strong vibrations? Then, no… I probably won’t recommend this to you. For me, the Kushi falls short in strength, this toy doesn’t really see me all the way through to orgasm when I’m masturbating solo (unless I want to spend a long time at it.), but it does make a great warm up vibrator or works well when paired with one of my dildos. It is also a fun couples toy, the ribbed texture along the body make it great for sensation play. It is also not super awkward to hold and position during sex and does bring me to orgasm fairly easily during penetration. If you aren’t in the market for a vibrator with enough power to cause an earthquake, the Kushi will probably work for you. I’ll be honest, the vibrations were a lot deeper than I was expecting, I was kind of expecting it to look great, but only provide some surface level, buzzy vibrations. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised. So if you are wanting a palm-sized vibe with lighter to mid-level vibrations, the Kushi might be exactly what you are looking for.

The Iroha+ Kushi by Tenga can be purchased directly from Tenga’s website for $111.43.

(The Kushi is currently listed as sold out on the Tenga’s webstore. In the meantime, you can also find it at Shevibe)

The Iroha+ Kushi was provided to me free of charge by Tenga in exchange for my honest review. 

Mighty Wand – Sex Toy Review

My collection of vibrating wands just keeps expanding! I’m totally cool with this. Wands are right there at the top of my sex toy favorites list. I am a wand girl… a wandette? No, that’s lame, forget I said that. But I do love wands, big wands, little wands, the more powerful the better! My love affair with wands began when I purchased my Original Magic Wand and after that I was hooked… (lazy masturbation I can do with my pants on? Sign me up!). So, when Castle Megastore added a “bonus” vibrating Mighty Wand along with the Stronic Eins, I was pretty excited!

Sadly, my excitement waned a bit after opening up the cardboard packaging. Something didn’t smell right. There was a rubbery-sweet odor wafting from the open box, it was pretty nauseating. Castle Megastore immediately offered to replace the Mighty Wand for me, concerned that is shouldn’t smell that way. I happily took them up on their offer of a replacement and they shipped out a brand new one with lightning speed (great customer service!). When the new Mighty Wand arrived I was relieved that I was not overpowered by a nasty stink upon opening. Whew!

Strong odors throw up all kinds of red flags in my brain. If a toy has a lingering bad smell, that is often a sure sign that unsafe chemicals are present within the toys materials. Ick. Boo. Nooooo!

Concerned that the Mighty Wands packaging did not list the materials the toy was constructed from, I took to twitter to find some answers. Thanks to a quick call to the Smitten Kitten, some amazing sex toy bloggers and Castle Megastore themselves, I was able to sort out what exactly the Mighty Wand is made of and whether or not it was safe to use.

TPE, thermoplastic elastomers, now we know what the Mighty Wand is made from, and it’s not as bad as I was expecting (sigh of relief)! But still not a material that I am particularly found of for a sex toy, it is on the “approach with caution” list. TPE toys are usually non-toxic, but they are definitely porous and porous toys can harbor mold and bacteria over time – gross. I am, however, happy that it doesn’t feel greasy (meaning it could be blended with toxic materials), it seems to be a stable material (it looks and feels like a hard silicone – I just wish it actually was silicone!), so I’m going to guess that it is safe to use, but porous. Porous toys won’t last forever, just keep an eye on it, and if it starts to smell or look weird/change colors, discard it.

Much like the Original Magic Wand (head made from vinyl), the Mighty Wand can not be completely sterilized. The best you can do is clean well with soap and water after every use (the Mighty Wand is not waterproof, so wipe with damp cloth – do not submerge!), Even using anti-bacterial toy cleaners will only clean the surface of the toy while the mold and bacteria make a home down in the toy’s pores. Also, make sure the wand is 100% dry before storing it away, no point in encouraging microbes to grow.

To make a long story short, because it is porous I am going to recommend that you don’t share this wand with multiple partners, put a layer of cloth between your skin and the toy, cover it with a condom, or find a silicone attachment to cover the head with (if one exists in a size small enough to fit the Mighty Wands head).

Thankfully, the Mighty Wand is not an insertable toy, which makes me feel a bit better about it. The head never has to come in contact with skin if you don’t want it too, the vibration are strong enough to carry through a layer of clothing. I used mine over panties and it worked out great. Like I said, if I can masturbate with my clothes still on, I’m all for it and the Mighty Wand was capable of sending vibrations through my jeans (not on the same level as my Hitachi, but it still worked.).

That being said…beyond the TPE head material, the rest of the wand does seem very well made. It is heavy, solid, the buttons are easy to access and operate while in use and it is rechargeable (yay for cordless wands!).

The Mighty Wand is controlled with a rolling wheel, kind of like what you find in the middle of a computer mouse. I found this to be terribly misleading, I thought this meant I could fine tune my vibration settings by rolling the wheel, but for all the rolling it does, I can only find two speeds (correct me if I’m wrong, but its all I’m feeling!). These two speeds are pretty adequate though, albeit pretty buzzy. The slower speed is a nice warm up speed, and the higher pace brought me to orgasm no problem. If you are a real power hog, the Mighty Wand might leave you wanting more, but it should be plenty strong for the average wand user. If you prefer deep, rumbling vibrations, you aren’t going to like the Mighty Wand, this vibrator buzzes like a busy little bee and gave my vulva vibrator-numbness after use. But sometimes I like buzzy, its really a preference thing, nothing really wrong with it.

(I just had my Stunt Cock give the Mighty Wand a go and he thinks he can feel at least three or four speeds. I still only feel two. So I guess the number of speeds is currently up for interpretation! The Mighty Wand does advertise having “multi-speed.”)

Along with the rolling wheel, there is also a button on the side of the body which when held down causes the vibrator to start pulsating. While I don’t usually care much for rhythmic vibration patterns, I do love that I can jump in and out of the patterned vibration without cycling through various other settings. Just hold down the button, it pulsates, let go and it returns to a steady vibration. I also like that the pattern doesn’t leave a lot of dead air between the vibration blips, I hate patterns that work me up, then leave me hanging with dead air. I can’t handle that kind of frustrating tease.

The Mighty Wand is fairly discreet, while I wouldn’t call it “whisper quiet” (as advertised), it is quieter than my Hitachi and Doxy, and is not likely to be heard through a closed door. But, there is still a definite audible low pitched hum when in use.

Another thing I really like about the Mighty Wand is that it is rechargeable! Rechargeable, cordless wands are the gods’ gift to us all. The Mighty Wand is super easy to charge. It comes with a charging cable that plugs into a standard two pronged wall outlet. When plugged in there are little lights to indicate that it is charging or fully charged.

The smaller head size is great, at first I thought there was no way that the Mighty Wand’s tiny head was going to cover enough area for me to reach an orgasm, but its small size never became an issue for me. In fact, the small head makes the Mighty Wand much easier to wield during partner sex, for example, my Hitachi becomes awkward and uncomfortable during me on the bottom sex, it just rams into my pubic bone, vibrates my partners stomach in a weird way, and just kind of makes a nuisance of itself until I’m forced to roll over onto all fours to get the job done. The Mighty Wand is small enough to slip between my partner and I without having to remind us its there with every thrust. It works, I like that.

Do I recommend the Mighty Wand? At this point, yes. I’m going to keep my eye on my Mighty Wand to see just how stable the TPE is, but the wand itself isn’t bad. Just know that you are buying a porous toy. The vibrations are strong, however I wish I could feel more variation between the speeds (assuming there really is more than two), they are also buzzy (but some people like that!). Over all, I am pretty happy with the quality of the Mighty Wand, the shape and the size work out just right for me and my grip strength, I was able to use it both laying on my back and on all fours doggy style without it becoming too heavy or awkward to maneuver around. The buttons were easily accessible while in use and the roller wheel moves without much effort. With just a small change in materials (cough silicone cough) I would be 99.9% happy with this wand.

The Mighty Wand is priced at a fairly reasonable (for a rechargeable wand) $79.99 and can be purchased from Castle Megastores.

The Mighty Wand was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. A small fee was paid for an expedited review, but in no way affects my opinion of the product. 

Fun Factory Stronic Eins – Sex Toy Review

This is a big moment for me. Monumental even. I now own a Fun Factory Stronic Eins! I have been lusting over this toy since the dawn of time (okay, since it was first introduced), it is one of those toys that I always have to turn on and fondle anytime I walk into a sex toy shop. I loved to just hold it in my hands, feel it pulsating, and drift off into sexy little daydreams about how this beauty would feel thrusting around in my vagina.

And now, thanks to Castle Megastores, I no longer have to dream. The Stronic Eins is mine. Mine I tell you! MIIIIIINE! MUHAHAHahahahaha! Ooh, this toy apparently brings out the evil super villain in me.

Okay, I know what you are thinking, “dude, chill, it just looks like a normal vibrator.” But I simply will not chill good sir/madam, because unlike normal vibrators, the Fun Factory Stronic Eins does not vibrate. It pulsates. Inside of the Stronic Eins’ hallow body, there is a solid metal weight that slides back and forth in a linear fashion, which is what gives the Stronic Eins the sensation of thrusting. It’s pretty wild and kind of hard to describe…

How about this, you know those goofy Shake Weights that were oddly popular for awhile? The Stronic Eins pretty much feels like a Shake Weight, but for your genitals. A genital Shake Weight. But, unlike a Shake Weight, you don’t have to put in any effort into shaking it, just turn it on and lay back, let the Stronic Eins do the rest (the same technique I use with the Womanizer. Set it and forget it.) The ultimate in lazy masturbation!

Personally, I have found that I like to lay on my back, insert the Stronic Eins, pushing down on the handle in order to angle the tip of the toy up into my G-Spot and enjoy. It’s pure heaven. I also suggest paying attention to how you hold it. I’ve found that the Stronic Eins works best if you grip it very lightly, just enough to keep it from slipping out of place, otherwise, If you hold onto it too tightly, it seems restricts the thrusting motion, dampening the effect. The Stroinc Eins also doesn’t seem to work standing up or kneeling, you really need to lay down to use it, so if you like to move around a lot and use varying positions, this toy might frustrate you.

Being a person who has had a fair amount of sex, I am pretty comfortable saying that the thrusting motion of the Stronic Eins is pretty similar to what you get with live action penis-in-vagina sex (If your partner only contained 10 predictable thrusting modes). Sure, it’s not perfect, and maybe you won’t be able to totally replace your significant other or fuck buddy with it, but I’d say it is probably as close an approximation to the real thing as you can get with a hand held toy.

The Fun Factory Stronic Eins charges via magnetic magic. It also takes a reaaaaaally long time to charge, when I pulled my Stronic Eins from the box, I secretly hoped it came already charged, no such luck. It takes about 16ish hours to reach full charge, but I have only had to charge it once so far… and I have been using this toy a lot (half the time I just turn it on to hold in my hand to watch it wiggle.), so it holds a charge well (unlike my iPhone. Yeah, I’m looking at you buddy… pull it together.)

The Stronic Eins has 10 modes. Each mode has been given a really dumb and ambiguous name in the instruction manual…”Quicky” “Vienna Waltz” and “Dirty Dancing” to name a few. When you turn on the Eins, it starts up on its fourth setting “Perfect Start,” then from there you can use the the (+) button to move into its “constant” and “dynamic” modes and the (-) to move down into its “algorithmic” modes. I wish I could give you a clearer explanation for what this all means… but… your guess is as good as mine. Best I can tell you is, push the (+) to up the speed, and use the (-) to find the various patterns. More or less. It’s complicated. To turn the Stronic Eins off, just hold down the (-) button.

When amped up to its highest setting (“Rollerball”), the inner weight isn’t really felt as clearly and it begins to feel more like a vibrator like to me. I think, for the first time in the history of sex toys, I prefer the lowest, slowest setting on a toy. When at its lowest settings (“Samba” and “Rumble”), the Stronic Eins is very thuddy and the pulsating technology really shines through. Also, a likely first, I don’t completely ignore the various pattern settings. They actually enhance the toy, rather than feeling like a poorly executed after thought. “Gallop” and “Rumba” are my personal favorites.

It is worth pointing out that this toy is not anal safe. But fear not, your precious butt hole hasn’t been completely left out of the fun! If you are looking for anal play, you will want to pick yourself up the Stronic Drei – great for both the g and p spots! Its flared base makes it safe for anal use.

Other noteworthy features: It is waterproof, which makes it really easy to clean. It can be locked for travel (just push the (FUN) and (-) to lock and (Fun) and (+) to unlock it again.), the buttons are well spaced and easy to find and push when I’m holding the Eins down between my legs. It is also remarkably quiet, making it a great toy when you want to be more discreet. But, it does not come with its own storage bag. For $200, I really would have expected some kind of storage bag… come on.

Do I recommend the Fun Factory Stronic Eins? I think it is one of the few sort of novelty toys that actually lives up to its hype. Do you have double penetration fantasies but only one partner? Maybe the Stronic Eins can help you out! Are you separated from your penis of choice by a great distance? Talk dirty to each other and the Stronic Eins can add some realism to your phone sex! A fun toy for both solo and partner play. The price tag however, is a huge frowny face for me. Sadly, the Stronic Eins isn’t going to fit into everyone’s budget. The nearly $200 price tag is what kept me from purchasing it the very first time I saw it, it was one of those toys I wanted quite badly, but couldn’t quite justify dropping the cash for it. But, if you have been saving up and are ready to splurge, have a big birthday/anniversary/special event coming up, or are just Scrooge McDuck rich, treat yourself to the Stronic Eins, seriously. There really isn’t anything else comparable to the Fun Factory’s pulsator technology on the market right now. If you don’t like thrusting, or g-spot stimulation isn’t your thing, the Stronic Eins may turn out to be more of a silly novelty for you. But for me, it is definitely a toy box must have!

Ready to pick up a Fun Factory Stronic Eins of your own? Castle Megastore can make your dreams come true! Available in two colors dark violet (pictured in this review) and pink for $199.99.

The Fun Factory Stronic Eins was provided to me free of charge by Castle Megastores in exchange for my honest review. 

Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Vibe Giveaway!

I had meant to plan a giveaway in time for Pride Month, but I kind of dropped the ball and suddenly June was nearly over… whoops. But, just because Pride Month is nearly over, that is no reason to stop celebrating! Let’s celebrate Pride! Let’s celebrate summer! Let’s celebrate SEX TOYS!

And let’s give a HUGE thank you to the fine folks at Lovehoney who have graciously agreed to sponsor my June giveaway! Woo-hoo!

Curious about other Fifty Shades of Grey products? Check out these reviews:

So, without further ado, let’s get on to the good stuff…

WHAT YOU’LL WIN: 

The Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl  G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator. Part of the Fifty Shades of Grey The Official Pleasure Collection approved by author E L James.

  • Powerful USB rechargeable rabbit vibrator with 2 motors
  • 3 speeds and 9 patterns of vibration in the shaft, 3 speeds in the ears
  • Incredible total of 36 possible vibration combinations
  • Curved shaft stimulates your G-spot
  • Thick, flexible ears caress your clitoris
  • Whisper-quiet for discreet play
  • Completely waterproof
  • Charge for 120 minutes for 60 minutes of powerful stimulation
  • Includes a luxurious satin storage bag

FOLLOW THE RULES:

  • This contest will run from June 27 to July 19, 2016.
  • The contest is open to residents in USA, Australia, New Zealand, UK, Canada, Ireland and Germany.
  • You must be 18 years or older to enter and live in an area where sex toys are legal to import.
  • Absolutely NO giveaway accounts. I check EVERY Twitter/Tumblr account, if you only share giveaway posts, your entry will be void.
  • One winner will be randomly selected and contacted by me via email within seven days of the contest ending. The winner then has 48 hours to reply to me with their address otherwise another winner will be drawn. The winner agrees to provide me with their name, email, phone number and shipping address that I will forward to Lovehoney.com. On conclusion of the giveaway, Lovehoney.com will ship directly to the winner.

HOW TO ENTER: 

Good luck everyone! You are all winner’s in my eyes. Be sure to bookmark this page and visit daily for more chances to enter!
Kitten Boheme’s June Giveaway

Rocks-Off Bamaboo Vibrator – Sex Toy Review

The Rocks-Off Bamboo is a little bullet vibe that ended up really surprising me. At $25.00, I really wasn’t expecting much out of it. I figured, sure I’ll try it, but I’m not looking forward to the bad review I’ll probably have to give it. Operated by a little AAA battery, honestly, how much power could this toy possibly have?

The answer: more then you would think.

A lot of the smaller, bullet vibrators end up feeling really buzzy and kind of high pitched, like all you are getting is a bit of a weak surface buzz, when what you really want is to feel the vibrations deeper down in your clit (or wherever you like to use your vibrator, nipples are my other favorite spot…). While, still buzzy, the Bamboo doesn’t feel like a housefly is trapped in my underpants, annoyingly buzzing against my clit as it looks for a way out, there is a little more oomph to the vibrations then your average battery powered bullet vibe. Yay!

Sure, it’s not the earth shattering, high powered, deep, vibrations I’ve come to love, but the Bamboo still has no problems getting the job done for me – and my clit is pretty damn picky when it comes to vibrators. It comes with 10 different settings, three intensity levels and seven patterns. Because I am such a power queen, I love that when you turn on the Bamboo it starts off right at its highest intensity setting. If you are a person who likes to warm up, start slow and build to the more powerful settings, this could annoy you. And because it is operated with one button, you’ll have to cycle through all the settings to ramp up your intensity from the lower setting. Like I said though, I always go for the highest settings, so I like that it is right there from the moment I turn it on, this was designed perfectly for me. The lower two intensities are absolute garbage to me, they are too weak and require a lot of pressure in order to make them even somewhat enjoyable. But, if you are sensitive, these settings might work for you.

The body of the Bamboo is textureless and smooth, and easy to hold (until hands get really lubed up, then things get a bit slippery). The angled, squared, tip gives me options when it comes to deciding on if I feel like pin point stimulation or something broader. The flat, square face is perfect for distributing the vibration across a wider swath of flesh, while flipping it over onto its angled tip gives me more precise control over where I direct the vibrations.

Made from ABS plastic, the Bamboo can be used with any lube, good news if you are a lover of silicone based lubes! Clean up is easy, the Bamboo is waterproof, so you can give it a wash with soap and water, wipe it down with toy cleaner, and when it comes to to sterilize, give it a good scrub with a 10% bleach solution. Now, even though the Bamboo is waterproof, the motor doesn’t appear to be sealed in like you would find with most higher end vibes, so I would advise against submerging it in water. Doing so could cause your motor to become kaput. If you need a bath time toy, check out something like the Je Jouie MiMi soft. 

Another thing I like about the Bamboo is its size. Being not much bigger than your average lipstick tube, the Bamboo is extremely portable. It is the type of toy you can drop into your purse, backpack, or suitcase and travel the world with it! You can even pop the battery out and store it separately to avoid any awkward situations with the vibrator going off in your luggage. And, because it can be bought for $25, it won’t be the end of the world should you happen to break or lose your Bamboo while being the crazy jet setter that you are. This portable, pocket-sized vibe is also incredibly easy to store out of site when discretion is necessary. Tuck it away in a nightstand, dresser drawer, or into that unwatched Twilight boxed set your Aunt gave you for Christmas.

Do I recommend the Rocks-Off Bamboo? You know, as much as I love luxury, rechargeable toys covered in the plushest of silicone, my budget doesn’t always agree – I have champagne tastes on a beer budget. With the Bamboo, it’s like buying a craft beer… I can afford it AND it is better than the other cheap stuff. So, yes, if a budget friendly vibe that mimics some of the functions of the more expensive toys is what you are after, go for it! If you prefer buzzier vibrations (which sometimes I do), the Bamboo should be right up your ally. On the other hand, I’m not a big fan of battery operated toys, the steady stream of batteries that need to be poured into them isn’t exactly eco-friendly, and that really irks me. Also, depending how often your use your toy, the cost of batteries can really add up. So, a rechargeable might be more cost effective in the long run. It may not be a We-Vibe Tango, but the Rocks-Off Bamboo is pretty superb for the price and has found its place among my regular rotation of vibrators. 

Ready to bring your own Rocks-Off Bamboo vibrator home? You can find them at The Smitten Kitten ($24.99), SheVibe ($19.99), and Lovehoney ($22.99)! The Bamboo is available in 5 different colors, although I can’t find one retailer with all colors, so shop around if there is a specific color you want! The Bamboo featured in my review is called “Pink Passion.” It arrives with one AAA battery, which hasn’t died on me yet.

Fifty Shades of Grey A Perfect O Silicone Love Ring – Sex Toy Review


Well, if you are a fan of the Fifty Shades of Grey series (or even just the movie) have I got a treat for you! The fine folks at Lovehoney have sent for my review “A Perfect O,” a classy little black silicone cock ring, yet another toy in the Fifty Shades of Grey Official Pleasure Collection.

Truthfully, I’m on the fence about this toy. On the one hand, YAY, another cock ring! Can a person really own too many quality cock rings? But then, on the other hand… BOO, Fifty Shades of Grey! Okay, okay, I am probably being too hard on series, after all, it did get erotica and the idea of bondage/bdsm into the bedrooms of many people who may have never realized the fetish existed, or maybe who were too shy, or nervous to give it a try before it became a more mainstream idea. So as much as I dislike the book, I still have to give it a slight nod of appreciation.

My feelings on Fifty Shades of Grey aside, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the Official Pleasure Collection so far, granted this is only my second toy in the collection, but if everything else follows the same standard of quality, I imagine most the toys in the collection aren’t too bad and worth a shot.

The Perfect O cock ring arrived in a pretty simple box. Glossy, with a picture of the black cock ring and branded with the Fifty Shades of Grey logo pretty prominently. They don’t actually label it as a cock ring on the box… it’s cutely referred to as a “love ring…” Is this actually a thing, do other people call cock rings “love rings” or is this just a lame attempt to make couples feel more comfortable by omitting any reference to penises? ‘Cause, I refuse to take part in this… it is a cock ring. COCK RING. COOOOOOOCK. Cock. HUMPH. Or a C-Ring if you really can’t stomach the word cock. This rant is entirely irrelevant, where was I…

Right, so, what can be said about a small stretchy piece of silicone that I haven’t already said before? The Fifty Shades of Grey a Perfect O cock ring is pretty much would you would imagine, a ring made from a soft, matte, silicone. Pretty standard as far as cock rings go, only with the added teeny-tiny “Fifty Shades of Grey” stamped onto it. What I found most magical about this particular cock ring is the velvety smoothness of the silicone. My fingertips had little finger orgasms of there own when I pulled the ring from its box, I love a good silicone, that is totally my jam. It is one of my very favorite things to touch, and the Perfect O did not disappointed. The Fifty Shades of Grey a Perfect O cock ring definitely receives a 10 out of 10 on the finger orgasm scale.

But, touch isn’t everything and of course, I don’t have a penis of my own (regrettably) so I had to enlist my ever willing stunt cock to help me out with testing the cock ring. It was very easy to put on, it has a fair amount of stretch to it, making it easy to wear as either just a ring stretched around the base of the shaft, or you can go all out and stretch it down over the balls as well. We prefer the second method, adding the balls into the mix seems to produce a much firmer erection and stunt cock reports a better orgasm that way.

Once in place, my stunt cock said it was “pretty comfortable”, and it didn’t take long for the ring to work its magic. Once erect, his penis quickly turned a deep shade of purple, veins popping and steadily becoming firmer as blood flow was restricted. I always think a penis under the influence of a cock ring looks and feels more like an exaggerated penis – like a living dildo, shiny and hard and full of new textures. If you are the kind of person who gets turned on visually, you’ll probably enjoy this. Our first experience with a cock ring scared me, I thought there was no way that this could be healthy for a penis, I thought it was going to swell up and explode – like a balloon with too much air! Thankfully, that hasn’t happened and I’ve really come to enjoy sex with a cock ring. For me, the experience is amazing, feeling my partners penis in such a heightened way is exciting.

During use, it didn’t rub his (or my) skin wrong or feel too constricting, but stunt cock did report that because of its rounded ring shape, the Perfect O cock ring wanted to roll up. And this rolling caused pubic hair to catch and wrap around it, creating a tangled mess of awful. I think either more lube or trimming down the pubic hair would alleviate some of this problem. The rolling, because of the way the ring is designed, may just be the nature of the beast, not much you can do there. Because we had it stretched around his balls, the ring was in no danger of actually rolling up and off, but it does shift during thrusts. Pubic hair and cock rings really seem to always be at odds, so this isn’t a battle unique to this particular toy by any means and something to keep in mind when purchasing any cock ring. I totally recommend trimming down the pubic hair before use!

Because it is made of silicone, avoid using silicone based lubes, or risk doing nasty damage to your cock ring. Water based or hybrid lubes are your friend when it comes to silicone toys! (I’m particularly fond of Sliquid brand lubes!)

Clean up is as easy as washing it with soap and water, throwing it in the dishwasher, or into a pot of boiling water. I love silicone. So easy to clean and sterilize!

Now, the big question: do I recommend the Fifty Shades of Grey a Perfect O Love Ring? Sure, if your budget is tight, but you are still looking for a quality toy made from body safe materials, this ring will work out just fine. There is really nothing wrong with it, it works as a cock ring should work. But if you are willing to up your budget by a few more bucks, I would purchase once of the Tantus C-Rings. Both the stunt cock and myself prefer the Tantus rings, the flat shape allows it to remain in place better, meaning there is less rolling, shifting, and hair pulling. But a Perfect O is not a bad ring, you may even find you prefer the shape, as it would allow you to roll it down your shaft if stretching it out is harder for you. It is easier to stretch out than our Tantus ring, making it somewhat easier to put on. No matter which ring you prefer, a cock ring really is a must-have couples toy, it is portable – great for those sexy weekend vacations (or nights in), it is easy to store, and low maintenance! Cock rings are said to cause harder or longer lasting erections and intensify the orgasm of the wearer. I don’t know if we get longer erections, but they are definitely harder!

Ready to shop for a Fifty Shades of Grey a Perfect O Love Ring (cock!) of your very own? You can pick one up from Lovehoney for only $8.99!

The Fifty Shades of Grey a Perfect O Love Ring was provided to me by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review.

May is Masturbation Month! Enter to Win a SwoonKink Sleeve!

It’s Masturbation May! I want to help you celebrate by offering you the chance to win one of these amazing SwoonKink Masturbation Sleeves!

The Prize

A  black, turtleneck style SwoonKink Masturbation Sleeve made from up-cycled 100% cashmere.

The Details

  • This contest runs from May 10 to May 31, 2016
  • You must be 18 years or older to enter and live in an area where it is legal to ship sex toys.
  • Open worldwide. Winners outside of the US and Canada will be responsible for any shipping costs over the domestic rate.
  • No giveaway accounts. Entries from giveaway accounts will be invalid.
  • One winner will be selected and contacted by email the week of June 1st. The winner will have 48 hours to respond with their mailing address (and make payment arrangements if applicable) otherwise another winner will be drawn.

Be sure to keep this page open so you enter again tomorrow! More entries means more chances to win! Good luck!

Masturbation May Giveaway!

SwoonKink Cashmere Masturbation Sleeve – Sex Toy Review

There are so many male masturbation sleeves on the market today that it seems pretty unlikely that anything totally unique could possibly exist. A quick google search will turn up sleeves depicting any number of orifices – both human and creature. If you can imagine it, you can find it and stick your dick in it.

So, I was pleasantly surprised when I stumbled across the SwoonKink masturbation sleeves. What makes it so unique is just how simple they are. There is no gimick, no pouty duck lipped mouth, no pert little asshole…. just a simple sleeve. That’s it.  Soft. Simple. Functional.

Sound boring? It’s not…

As Archer says “I didn’t invent the turtleneck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck. The tactalneck.”

That is just what this is. The SwoonKink masturbation sleeve is what you have always dreamed of, a tactical turtleneck for your penis. A deliciously soft cashmere turtleneck that you can masturbate into. Honestly, how much more convincing do I need to be? Go buy one right now!

I discovered SwoonKink during one of my many Smitten Kitten browsing sessions. It was one of those products that caused me to do a double take. Sitting in a basket was a plethora of cardboard penises wearing what looked to me like sweaters. It took me a minute of staring at them to figure out what they even were, then I started laughing. A penis sweater! Hilarious! Who could ever possibly think this was a good idea… but then I started to pet it, to stroke it, to visualize the possibilities… and then I realized that this simple little masturbation sleeve was actually pretty brilliant. It combines three of my favorite things – up-cycling, super soft things, and masturbating! All this, in one toy!

Made from up-cycled 100% cashmere, the SwoonKink masturbation sleeves come in two styles, “turtleneck” which is pretty much just a cashmere tube with an open, ribbed top (much like you would imagine a turtleneck to look) and my personal favorite, the “hoodie” which is a cashmere tube with an added hood and the hood can be used either up or down!

Sure, I don’t have a penis of my own, so I miss out on some of the fun, but I love being able to give a hand job using the SwoonKink masturbation sleeve! The worst part about giving hand jobs (for me) is ending up with sticky, crusty, slippery lube hands or worse… using spit when there is no lube to be found and things are that desperate. This solves my problem in the most elegant way possible, as the SwoonKink sleeve is designed to be used without adding lube! The cashmere fabric is soft and gentle enough to provide stimulation without any uncomfortable friction. This surprised me, I honestly thought it was going to feel like I was giving both my hand and my partners penis some kind of rug burn as I pumped away, but my Stunt Cock never complained (and now uses it as his go-to masturbation tool).

Just to double check, I rubbed the sleeve against my clit, waiting to see if I got that dry burning feeling that lubeless masturbation gives me… but even I felt the warm friction it provides to be pleasant. So, whether it’s through great design, excellent materials, or plain old witchcraft – the SwoonKink sleeve works amazingly well with zero lube!

The sleeve is designed to be a one size fit all product. It fit my partner’s penis with no problems, and I’ve tried it on some of my bigger dildo’s with much success. If you posses significantly more girth than the average man (and the majority of my dildos), the sleeve may become a little snug. But, I think this sleeve will fit a wide variety of penises, no problem.

Another awesome thing about the SwoonKink sleeve is just how easy it is to store it! Unlike other male masturbation toys, there is no hard plastic case, no jiggly faux mouth/butt/vagina, there is nothing that would alert the casual observer that they are looking at a masturbation item. When not in use, you can just fold it up and store it in your sock drawer and no one will suspect a thing. Or, you can be like me and use it as a dildo cozy – because I don’t want my dildo’s to catch a chill.

Clean up is a snap, it just takes a quick run through the washing machine. Use the delicate cycle, in cold water. Tumble dry on low heat with other soft fabrics for 10 minutes. Reshape, and finish drying flat. If you don’t have a machine at your disposable, the sleeve can also be hand washed just as easily. The cashmere will get fuzzier with each wash, don’t be alarmed, you didn’t ruin it.

So, do I recommend the SwoonKink masturbation sleeve? Without any hesitation, this is a great big yes! Soft and sexy, this makes a great partner toy or takes your solo play to a whole new, mature level. I love that the maker of these sleeves is local to me (SwoonKink is based in Saint Paul, Minnesota), and they are making a very high quality product out of up-cycled materials – they fulfill my love of buying local and being eco-friendly! It is a nearly no mess way to masturbate, easy clean up, and the cashmere offers a totally new tactile sensation you won’t find with other “mainstream” masturbation sleeves and is worth trying at least once. Okay, sure, maybe the old dirty sock is similar to what you get here, but the cashmere sleeve is way classier, good luck trying to get a hand job from someone by offering them up an old sock.

Ready to purchase a SwoonKink masturbation sleeve for yourself, or a penis you love? You can do so directly from SwoonKink’s etsy page! Because the items are made from up-cycled materials, styles, patterns, and colors may vary!  And unlike a lot of masturbation toys available for purchase, the SwoonKink sleeves won’t set you back much – pick up the Turtleneck for $23.00 or the Hoodie for $29.00!

The SwoonKink Masturbation Sleeve was provided to me free of charge by SwoonKink in exchange for my honest review.

 

Je Joue MiMi Soft – Sex Toy Review

When I picked up my Je Joue MiMi Soft from the Smitten Kitten, the first thing that struck me was the packaging. This little vibrator is packaged in the sturdiest, most luxurious box I have ever seen (second only to the Njoy Purewand’s black and pink satin box.). There is an outer box made from the most touchable cardboard imaginable, kind of reminds me of some of the silky soft silicone toys I love to pet, then there is an inner box complete with a little secret compartment where the charger is stored. This box should hold up very well for quite awhile and is a great place to store the MiMi when not in use. I don’t normally spend a lot of time thinking or writing about packaging, but the MiMi has some truly excellent packaging. That’s what she said!

But what about the MiMi itself, does this little vibe measure up to its extremely great packaging? Can we judge a book by its cover? Let’s see…

The Je Joue MiMi Soft is a palm sized external vibrator whose shape sort of reminds me of a polished river stone, or maybe an egg that has been flattened. It is an oval that comes to a rounded wide point at the tip. It also features a soft, flexible silicone tip (hence the name MiMi Soft). The rest of the toy is made up of ABS plastic covered in silicone, so it is just the tip that has a lot of squish and flexibility, the rest of the toy is quite rigid and lacks any real squish to the silicone.

Now, because the MiMi Soft lacks a pin-point tip, I wasn’t able to apply the vibrations directly to a specific area on my clit, I had to learn to accept the less focused, broad stimulation instead. Although, I was able to turn it on its side and use the edge of the wide tip for what felt like the weaker cousin to the direct stimulation I crave. Broad stimulation isn’t a bad thing, it just takes me a lot longer to reach orgasm that way if the power isn’t there to back it up. And, unlike my “set it and forget it” pin-point vibes (like the We-Vibe Tango), I actually had to participate a little more actively in my quest for an orgasm. I had to apply a moderate amount of pressure and kind of wiggle it back and forth. Like I said, it takes me more time to reach orgasm this way, but MiMi’s rumbling vibrations do feel really good.

But, if you are a hardcore power fan, like myself, the MiMi Soft may leave you a bit frustrated and possibly even a little unsatisfied. Don’t get me wrong, the MiMi is quite a strong vibrator (it still gave me a case of vibrator hand numbness!) and is much better then a lot of cheaper alternatives, but I think some of the intensity is dampened by the matte silicone body that surrounds it. I feel like if there was just one more level of a higher intensity, it would have been perfect. While masturbating with the MiMi Soft, I kept feeling like I was almost there and would instinctively hit the (+) button, just trying to squeeze out a little more power!

Speaking of the buttons. I am having kind of a love/hate relationship with them at the moment. On the one hand, I LOVE that it has a three button interface. I don’t have to cycle through all its various patterns just to change the intensity or I don’t have to cycle through all the lower intensities just to get back to one I enjoy somewhere in the middle. There is a (+), hold it down to turn on the vibrator, and press it to increase the intensity, and hold down the (-) to turn the vibrator off, and press it to lower the intensity. With the MiMi Soft, you can cycle between five levels of intensity. There is also a smaller black button in between the two more obvious silver up and down buttons that allows you to cycle through the MiMi Softs’ seven vibration patterns.

Now, what I HATE about the buttons on the MiMi Soft is that they are really hard to push down, especially the center button. While masturbating, I am able to more or less fumble around with the (+) and (-) buttons and achieve what I need with a little effort and coordination. But that damn middle button mocks me at every turn.  I know its there, I can feel it under my finger tip, yet try as I might, the thing doesn’t want to push down when I’m holding it between my legs. I have to pull the vibrator away and bring it up closer to me so I can get some better leverage, and push it down. Obnoxious. I don’t know if this is just my particular MiMi with a sticky, defective button, or just the way it is all across the board, but I hate hard to press buttons that cause me to interrupt my masturbation flow just to switch through the patterns.

Like the We-Vibe Tango I reviewed right before this, the MiMi Soft charges using a magnetic clip. It doesn’t feel quite as fickle as my Tango magnetic charger, the design is a bit more cup shaped, allowing the MiMi to rest inside and making it harder to accidentally disconnect. The magnets themselves might also be stronger. I seem to get about two to two and a half hours of play time on a single charge. I rarely need my vibrator that long all at once, so really, it lasts me through several masturbation/sex sessions.

It’s worth noting that MiMi is also 100% waterproof and submersible. So you can take your vibrator with you in the bathtub! Also, waterproof makes it very easy to clean. Just wash it with hot water skin-friendly soap before and after each use. And dry completely before storing it away.

Because the body of the toy is covered in silicone, avoid using it with a silicone based lube.

Bonus: It comes with a black silky blindfold – which I didn’t even realize until reading about it from another blogger. I would have preferred the standard draw string bag that a lot of sex toys come with, but I suppose Je Joue was trying to appeal to couples by including the blindfold. If you are looking to try your hand at a little sensation play, tying the blindfold around yourself or your partner and using the MiMi soft on various points of the body might be kind of fun.

Do I recommend the Je Joue MiMi Soft? Yes. It is a very nice external vibrator. Perfect if you are looking for something on the small and discreet side of things. If you shy away from more direct stimulation, I think that MiMi will offer you a great alternative. It is definitely a gentler alternative to some of the more powerful, direct clitoral toys and the soft flexible tip is great for those who make like to add more pressure to the clit, but dislike the feeling of a rock-hard vibrator mashing against their body. Also, don’t feel limited to just a clitrous, it is great for gentle perineum stimulation and nipple play as well! Its shape is pretty simple and innocuous, making it a great toy for someone who wants to own a sex toy that doesn’t scream “I’m a sex toy!” when you look at it. Great for any sex toy beginner (or anyone else) who maybe isn’t quite ready to use something that looks phallic.

Ready to bring home a Je Joue MiMi Soft of your own? Consider purchasing it from one of my absolute favorite sex positive Minneapolis based sex toy shops – Smitten Kitten! They carry the MiMi Soft for $99.99 and it can be purchased from their online shop (or in store if you are in the area!).

The Je Joue MiMi Soft was provided to me free of charge by the Smitten Kitten in exchange for my honest review. 

 

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