I have many sexual fantasies. Many of them are totally unrealistic, like having Dr. Strange fold time around me while Loki and the 10th Doctor double team me in the Tardis while Kate Mckinnon tells me facts about her cat. And some of them are a bit more mundane, like being tied up and forced to orgasm. Then there are the fantasies that I thought could never be possible… but it turns out… they are! One such fantasy is receiving a blow job from a man until I orgasm… and no, I’m not talking cunnilingus, I mean a straight up suck-my-dick-until-I-come blow job. But I know what you’re saying, “but Kitten, you don’t have a dick! …. Do you?”
You’re absolutely right, I don’t have a biological penis of my own. But now thanks to Number One Laboratory I am now the proud owner of a penis that is designed to suck.
Meet B.J. the blow job dildo.
When I was first approached to review the B.J. I was both intrigued and confused. After watching a kind of vague video about the B.J., I wasn’t really given the most obvious answer… what exactly is it and how exactly does it work? I mean, sure, to your average person it probably should be pretty obvious, I mean, it is called the B.J. and wears the tag line “designed to suck” but I still wanted someone to spell it out for me. I guess I’m just not good at subtle.
Also, apparently everyone and their brother has already heard of the B.J., like seriously… when I posted a picture of my brand new B.J. on Twitter I got like a bajillion comments from people telling me how excited they are for the review, and they have been wanting one of these, etc. How am I the only person on the planet to not have known a blow job dildo existed? Once again, you are all proving to be terrible internet friends, this is something you all should have told me. What else are you keeping from me?
Anyway, long back story aside, my first thoughts after using the B.J. was “hey, this kind of feels like the Womanizer, but like… 100% better.” And I thought I liked the Womanizer, but after feeling the suction available to my clit from the B.J., well, I don’t know how I’m ever going to go back. Sorry Womanizer, it’s not you… it’s me… I think we should see other people.
My B.J. arrived packaged in a clear, resealable, plastic bag with a B.J. labeled on one side and material/care instructions/company info on the other. Pretty simple, nothing flashy, but I appreciate not having a large box emblazoned with giant penises that I need to discreetly dispose of in a way my neighbors won’t see it sitting in the trash. And since the bag is resealable, I’ve been using it as my B.J.s storage pouch, may not be fancy, but it keeps my silicone lint-free!
The Number One Laboratory B.J. is a fairly realistic looking penis (although it is available in unrealistic colors for those who prefer it that way) with a hollow funnel running through the middle of the toy, beginning at the urethral opening of the B.J. and running down the length of the shaft to the base of the toy. How it works is you place the base of the toy flat against whatever area you are feeling needs a great blow job. For me, that is up against my clit, then have your partner (or if you are flexible, yourself) start sucking! Easy enough! The B.J. really does an awesome job of transferring suction from the toy’s head down to the receiver’s clit (or wherever you are focusing on) with very minimal effort. We also gave it a try with nipples (pretty awesome) and the head of my Stunt Cock’s penis, which he found to be pretty painful. I also gave myself a sweet arm hickey using the B.J.s super suction… so if nothing else, you can now fake having just recently had a hot and heavy make-out session without ever having to actually meet up with anyone on Tinder.
Aesthetically, the B.J. is amazing, I love the visual of my long cock in my partners mouth, but all the licking, kissing and caressing do very little to actually transfer any meaningful stimulation where I need it. Most of the attention needs to be paid to just the hole, where the suction is made, which makes this really more of a ‘suck job’ and less of a traditional blow job.
In use, it was really easy to position the base of the B.J. and find the ‘sweet spot.’ The suction felt amazing, it was much stronger than just having someone put their mouth directly to my clit and suck. I’m so used to bringing myself to orgasm via vibration, that suction feels totally foreign and exciting to me. Although it takes awhile for me to orgasm from the blow job alone, I find that the B.J. is a great foreplay tool. It is visually a major turn on.
After my first use of the B.J. I was a little worried that cleaning might become an issue, I worried that gunk and spit would collect around the hole and be hard to wash out. Thankfully, not an issue, the hole that runs the length of the toy is plenty large enough for water to run through easily. Also, the B.J. is made from 100% platinum silicone, so it is dishwasher friendly (top rack, no detergent) and safe to boil. Sanitizing made easy!
The B.J. is also pretty comfortable just to wear around (I’m actually wearing it as I type this!). The base of the B.J. is bigger, and the silicone may be a bit stiffer than your average packer, so it may not be ideal for any extended wear, but I kind of like feeling like I have an erection pinned against my inner thigh, waiting to be released and be given the best blow job of my life. The B.J. also seems to fit well into harnesses, it slides easily into my Tantus Nurse Connoisseur Harness. My particular harness does seem to sit the base of the B.J. up a little too high for optimal suction to occur, some adjustments likely needed if I were to wear the harness while receiving a blow job.
Would the B.J. also work as a STP? I don’t know, I have not tried. I feel like it is possible if you adjust the angle a bit, although I’m not sure that the opening at the base is optimal for this purpose. Personally prefer not to pee into something I’m also using as a toy. If you are specifically looking for a STP, Number One Laboratory does carry some really nice looking items!
The B.J. also works as an insertable toy. It is very flexible (it is hollow after all) and comfortable to insert. The pronounced veins around the shaft add a pretty nice texture as well. If you do use the B.J. for penetration, be sure to clean around the urethral hole and inside the shaft quite well (you could even wear a condom over it for extra protection.).
My last thought, which Stunt Cock scolded me for and said it wasn’t worth writing out, but I totally am going to write it out, because I think it is really important, need to know information… if you hold the B.J. up to your nose, you have a make-shift elephant trunk. Use that information however you’d like…
My recommendation? While the B.J. is probably not a toy that everyone will enjoy, I do highly recommend it. The quality is superb, the silicone is soft with no obvious seams, and the design is quite clever. You probably need to like suction to enjoy the B.J., but since it is human operated, you have a lot of control over how strong and intense the suction is, making it a toy you can really customize to your personal preferences. You will also need to have a partner of some sort handy in order to use the B.J. to its full potential. In my opinion though, the B.J. is worth a try!
The Number One Laboratory B.J. comes in a wide range of colors for you to chose from. There are three realistic skin tone colors, light (which is what is featured in this review), medium and dark. And there are two non-realistic colors, green and black.
The Number One Laboratory B.J. was provided to me free of charge by Number One Laboratory in exchange for my honest review.