Rocks-Off Bamaboo Vibrator – Sex Toy Review

The Rocks-Off Bamboo is a little bullet vibe that ended up really surprising me. At $25.00, I really wasn’t expecting much out of it. I figured, sure I’ll try it, but I’m not looking forward to the bad review I’ll probably have to give it. Operated by a little AAA battery, honestly, how much power could this toy possibly have?

The answer: more then you would think.

A lot of the smaller, bullet vibrators end up feeling really buzzy and kind of high pitched, like all you are getting is a bit of a weak surface buzz, when what you really want is to feel the vibrations deeper down in your clit (or wherever you like to use your vibrator, nipples are my other favorite spot…). While, still buzzy, the Bamboo doesn’t feel like a housefly is trapped in my underpants, annoyingly buzzing against my clit as it looks for a way out, there is a little more oomph to the vibrations then your average battery powered bullet vibe. Yay!

Sure, it’s not the earth shattering, high powered, deep, vibrations I’ve come to love, but the Bamboo still has no problems getting the job done for me – and my clit is pretty damn picky when it comes to vibrators. It comes with 10 different settings, three intensity levels and seven patterns. Because I am such a power queen, I love that when you turn on the Bamboo it starts off right at its highest intensity setting. If you are a person who likes to warm up, start slow and build to the more powerful settings, this could annoy you. And because it is operated with one button, you’ll have to cycle through all the settings to ramp up your intensity from the lower setting. Like I said though, I always go for the highest settings, so I like that it is right there from the moment I turn it on, this was designed perfectly for me. The lower two intensities are absolute garbage to me, they are too weak and require a lot of pressure in order to make them even somewhat enjoyable. But, if you are sensitive, these settings might work for you.

The body of the Bamboo is textureless and smooth, and easy to hold (until hands get really lubed up, then things get a bit slippery). The angled, squared, tip gives me options when it comes to deciding on if I feel like pin point stimulation or something broader. The flat, square face is perfect for distributing the vibration across a wider swath of flesh, while flipping it over onto its angled tip gives me more precise control over where I direct the vibrations.

Made from ABS plastic, the Bamboo can be used with any lube, good news if you are a lover of silicone based lubes! Clean up is easy, the Bamboo is waterproof, so you can give it a wash with soap and water, wipe it down with toy cleaner, and when it comes to to sterilize, give it a good scrub with a 10% bleach solution. Now, even though the Bamboo is waterproof, the motor doesn’t appear to be sealed in like you would find with most higher end vibes, so I would advise against submerging it in water. Doing so could cause your motor to become kaput. If you need a bath time toy, check out something like the Je Jouie MiMi soft. 

Another thing I like about the Bamboo is its size. Being not much bigger than your average lipstick tube, the Bamboo is extremely portable. It is the type of toy you can drop into your purse, backpack, or suitcase and travel the world with it! You can even pop the battery out and store it separately to avoid any awkward situations with the vibrator going off in your luggage. And, because it can be bought for $25, it won’t be the end of the world should you happen to break or lose your Bamboo while being the crazy jet setter that you are. This portable, pocket-sized vibe is also incredibly easy to store out of site when discretion is necessary. Tuck it away in a nightstand, dresser drawer, or into that unwatched Twilight boxed set your Aunt gave you for Christmas.

Do I recommend the Rocks-Off Bamboo? You know, as much as I love luxury, rechargeable toys covered in the plushest of silicone, my budget doesn’t always agree – I have champagne tastes on a beer budget. With the Bamboo, it’s like buying a craft beer… I can afford it AND it is better than the other cheap stuff. So, yes, if a budget friendly vibe that mimics some of the functions of the more expensive toys is what you are after, go for it! If you prefer buzzier vibrations (which sometimes I do), the Bamboo should be right up your ally. On the other hand, I’m not a big fan of battery operated toys, the steady stream of batteries that need to be poured into them isn’t exactly eco-friendly, and that really irks me. Also, depending how often your use your toy, the cost of batteries can really add up. So, a rechargeable might be more cost effective in the long run. It may not be a We-Vibe Tango, but the Rocks-Off Bamboo is pretty superb for the price and has found its place among my regular rotation of vibrators. 

Ready to bring your own Rocks-Off Bamboo vibrator home? You can find them at The Smitten Kitten ($24.99), SheVibe ($19.99), and Lovehoney ($22.99)! The Bamboo is available in 5 different colors, although I can’t find one retailer with all colors, so shop around if there is a specific color you want! The Bamboo featured in my review is called “Pink Passion.” It arrives with one AAA battery, which hasn’t died on me yet.

Fifty Shades of Grey A Perfect O Silicone Love Ring – Sex Toy Review

Well, if you are a fan of the Fifty Shades of Grey series (or even just the movie) have I got a treat for you! The fine folks at Lovehoney have sent for my review “A Perfect O,” a classy little black silicone cock ring, yet another toy in the Fifty Shades of Grey Official Pleasure Collection.

Truthfully, I’m on the fence about this toy. On the one hand, YAY, another cock ring! Can a person really own too many quality cock rings? But then, on the other hand… BOO, Fifty Shades of Grey! Okay, okay, I am probably being too hard on series, after all, it did get erotica and the idea of bondage/bdsm into the bedrooms of many people who may have never realized the fetish existed, or maybe who were too shy, or nervous to give it a try before it became a more mainstream idea. So as much as I dislike the book, I still have to give it a slight nod of appreciation.

My feelings on Fifty Shades of Grey aside, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the Official Pleasure Collection so far, granted this is only my second toy in the collection, but if everything else follows the same standard of quality, I imagine most the toys in the collection aren’t too bad and worth a shot.

The Perfect O cock ring arrived in a pretty simple box. Glossy, with a picture of the black cock ring and branded with the Fifty Shades of Grey logo pretty prominently. They don’t actually label it as a cock ring on the box… it’s cutely referred to as a “love ring…” Is this actually a thing, do other people call cock rings “love rings” or is this just a lame attempt to make couples feel more comfortable by omitting any reference to penises? ‘Cause, I refuse to take part in this… it is a cock ring. COCK RING. COOOOOOOCK. Cock. HUMPH. Or a C-Ring if you really can’t stomach the word cock. This rant is entirely irrelevant, where was I…

Right, so, what can be said about a small stretchy piece of silicone that I haven’t already said before? The Fifty Shades of Grey a Perfect O cock ring is pretty much would you would imagine, a ring made from a soft, matte, silicone. Pretty standard as far as cock rings go, only with the added teeny-tiny “Fifty Shades of Grey” stamped onto it. What I found most magical about this particular cock ring is the velvety smoothness of the silicone. My fingertips had little finger orgasms of there own when I pulled the ring from its box, I love a good silicone, that is totally my jam. It is one of my very favorite things to touch, and the Perfect O did not disappointed. The Fifty Shades of Grey a Perfect O cock ring definitely receives a 10 out of 10 on the finger orgasm scale.

But, touch isn’t everything and of course, I don’t have a penis of my own (regrettably) so I had to enlist my ever willing stunt cock to help me out with testing the cock ring. It was very easy to put on, it has a fair amount of stretch to it, making it easy to wear as either just a ring stretched around the base of the shaft, or you can go all out and stretch it down over the balls as well. We prefer the second method, adding the balls into the mix seems to produce a much firmer erection and stunt cock reports a better orgasm that way.

Once in place, my stunt cock said it was “pretty comfortable”, and it didn’t take long for the ring to work its magic. Once erect, his penis quickly turned a deep shade of purple, veins popping and steadily becoming firmer as blood flow was restricted. I always think a penis under the influence of a cock ring looks and feels more like an exaggerated penis – like a living dildo, shiny and hard and full of new textures. If you are the kind of person who gets turned on visually, you’ll probably enjoy this. Our first experience with a cock ring scared me, I thought there was no way that this could be healthy for a penis, I thought it was going to swell up and explode – like a balloon with too much air! Thankfully, that hasn’t happened and I’ve really come to enjoy sex with a cock ring. For me, the experience is amazing, feeling my partners penis in such a heightened way is exciting.

During use, it didn’t rub his (or my) skin wrong or feel too constricting, but stunt cock did report that because of its rounded ring shape, the Perfect O cock ring wanted to roll up. And this rolling caused pubic hair to catch and wrap around it, creating a tangled mess of awful. I think either more lube or trimming down the pubic hair would alleviate some of this problem. The rolling, because of the way the ring is designed, may just be the nature of the beast, not much you can do there. Because we had it stretched around his balls, the ring was in no danger of actually rolling up and off, but it does shift during thrusts. Pubic hair and cock rings really seem to always be at odds, so this isn’t a battle unique to this particular toy by any means and something to keep in mind when purchasing any cock ring. I totally recommend trimming down the pubic hair before use!

Because it is made of silicone, avoid using silicone based lubes, or risk doing nasty damage to your cock ring. Water based or hybrid lubes are your friend when it comes to silicone toys! (I’m particularly fond of Sliquid brand lubes!)

Clean up is as easy as washing it with soap and water, throwing it in the dishwasher, or into a pot of boiling water. I love silicone. So easy to clean and sterilize!

Now, the big question: do I recommend the Fifty Shades of Grey a Perfect O Love Ring? Sure, if your budget is tight, but you are still looking for a quality toy made from body safe materials, this ring will work out just fine. There is really nothing wrong with it, it works as a cock ring should work. But if you are willing to up your budget by a few more bucks, I would purchase once of the Tantus C-Rings. Both the stunt cock and myself prefer the Tantus rings, the flat shape allows it to remain in place better, meaning there is less rolling, shifting, and hair pulling. But a Perfect O is not a bad ring, you may even find you prefer the shape, as it would allow you to roll it down your shaft if stretching it out is harder for you. It is easier to stretch out than our Tantus ring, making it somewhat easier to put on. No matter which ring you prefer, a cock ring really is a must-have couples toy, it is portable – great for those sexy weekend vacations (or nights in), it is easy to store, and low maintenance! Cock rings are said to cause harder or longer lasting erections and intensify the orgasm of the wearer. I don’t know if we get longer erections, but they are definitely harder!

Ready to shop for a Fifty Shades of Grey a Perfect O Love Ring (cock!) of your very own? You can pick one up from Lovehoney for only $8.99!

The Fifty Shades of Grey a Perfect O Love Ring was provided to me by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review.

May is Masturbation Month! Enter to Win a SwoonKink Sleeve!

It’s Masturbation May! I want to help you celebrate by offering you the chance to win one of these amazing SwoonKink Masturbation Sleeves!

The Prize

A  black, turtleneck style SwoonKink Masturbation Sleeve made from up-cycled 100% cashmere.

The Details

  • This contest runs from May 10 to May 31, 2016
  • You must be 18 years or older to enter and live in an area where it is legal to ship sex toys.
  • Open worldwide. Winners outside of the US and Canada will be responsible for any shipping costs over the domestic rate.
  • No giveaway accounts. Entries from giveaway accounts will be invalid.
  • One winner will be selected and contacted by email the week of June 1st. The winner will have 48 hours to respond with their mailing address (and make payment arrangements if applicable) otherwise another winner will be drawn.

Be sure to keep this page open so you enter again tomorrow! More entries means more chances to win! Good luck!

Masturbation May Giveaway!

SwoonKink Cashmere Masturbation Sleeve – Sex Toy Review

There are so many male masturbation sleeves on the market today that it seems pretty unlikely that anything totally unique could possibly exist. A quick google search will turn up sleeves depicting any number of orifices – both human and creature. If you can imagine it, you can find it and stick your dick in it.

So, I was pleasantly surprised when I stumbled across the SwoonKink masturbation sleeves. What makes it so unique is just how simple they are. There is no gimick, no pouty duck lipped mouth, no pert little asshole…. just a simple sleeve. That’s it.  Soft. Simple. Functional.

Sound boring? It’s not…

As Archer says “I didn’t invent the turtleneck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck. The tactalneck.”

That is just what this is. The SwoonKink masturbation sleeve is what you have always dreamed of, a tactical turtleneck for your penis. A deliciously soft cashmere turtleneck that you can masturbate into. Honestly, how much more convincing do I need to be? Go buy one right now!

I discovered SwoonKink during one of my many Smitten Kitten browsing sessions. It was one of those products that caused me to do a double take. Sitting in a basket was a plethora of cardboard penises wearing what looked to me like sweaters. It took me a minute of staring at them to figure out what they even were, then I started laughing. A penis sweater! Hilarious! Who could ever possibly think this was a good idea… but then I started to pet it, to stroke it, to visualize the possibilities… and then I realized that this simple little masturbation sleeve was actually pretty brilliant. It combines three of my favorite things – up-cycling, super soft things, and masturbating! All this, in one toy!

Made from up-cycled 100% cashmere, the SwoonKink masturbation sleeves come in two styles, “turtleneck” which is pretty much just a cashmere tube with an open, ribbed top (much like you would imagine a turtleneck to look) and my personal favorite, the “hoodie” which is a cashmere tube with an added hood and the hood can be used either up or down!

Sure, I don’t have a penis of my own, so I miss out on some of the fun, but I love being able to give a hand job using the SwoonKink masturbation sleeve! The worst part about giving hand jobs (for me) is ending up with sticky, crusty, slippery lube hands or worse… using spit when there is no lube to be found and things are that desperate. This solves my problem in the most elegant way possible, as the SwoonKink sleeve is designed to be used without adding lube! The cashmere fabric is soft and gentle enough to provide stimulation without any uncomfortable friction. This surprised me, I honestly thought it was going to feel like I was giving both my hand and my partners penis some kind of rug burn as I pumped away, but my Stunt Cock never complained (and now uses it as his go-to masturbation tool).

Just to double check, I rubbed the sleeve against my clit, waiting to see if I got that dry burning feeling that lubeless masturbation gives me… but even I felt the warm friction it provides to be pleasant. So, whether it’s through great design, excellent materials, or plain old witchcraft – the SwoonKink sleeve works amazingly well with zero lube!

The sleeve is designed to be a one size fit all product. It fit my partner’s penis with no problems, and I’ve tried it on some of my bigger dildo’s with much success. If you posses significantly more girth than the average man (and the majority of my dildos), the sleeve may become a little snug. But, I think this sleeve will fit a wide variety of penises, no problem.

Another awesome thing about the SwoonKink sleeve is just how easy it is to store it! Unlike other male masturbation toys, there is no hard plastic case, no jiggly faux mouth/butt/vagina, there is nothing that would alert the casual observer that they are looking at a masturbation item. When not in use, you can just fold it up and store it in your sock drawer and no one will suspect a thing. Or, you can be like me and use it as a dildo cozy – because I don’t want my dildo’s to catch a chill.

Clean up is a snap, it just takes a quick run through the washing machine. Use the delicate cycle, in cold water. Tumble dry on low heat with other soft fabrics for 10 minutes. Reshape, and finish drying flat. If you don’t have a machine at your disposable, the sleeve can also be hand washed just as easily. The cashmere will get fuzzier with each wash, don’t be alarmed, you didn’t ruin it.

So, do I recommend the SwoonKink masturbation sleeve? Without any hesitation, this is a great big yes! Soft and sexy, this makes a great partner toy or takes your solo play to a whole new, mature level. I love that the maker of these sleeves is local to me (SwoonKink is based in Saint Paul, Minnesota), and they are making a very high quality product out of up-cycled materials – they fulfill my love of buying local and being eco-friendly! It is a nearly no mess way to masturbate, easy clean up, and the cashmere offers a totally new tactile sensation you won’t find with other “mainstream” masturbation sleeves and is worth trying at least once. Okay, sure, maybe the old dirty sock is similar to what you get here, but the cashmere sleeve is way classier, good luck trying to get a hand job from someone by offering them up an old sock.

Ready to purchase a SwoonKink masturbation sleeve for yourself, or a penis you love? You can do so directly from SwoonKink’s etsy page! Because the items are made from up-cycled materials, styles, patterns, and colors may vary!  And unlike a lot of masturbation toys available for purchase, the SwoonKink sleeves won’t set you back much – pick up the Turtleneck for $23.00 or the Hoodie for $29.00!

The SwoonKink Masturbation Sleeve was provided to me free of charge by SwoonKink in exchange for my honest review.


Je Joue MiMi Soft – Sex Toy Review

When I picked up my Je Joue MiMi Soft from the Smitten Kitten, the first thing that struck me was the packaging. This little vibrator is packaged in the sturdiest, most luxurious box I have ever seen (second only to the Njoy Purewand’s black and pink satin box.). There is an outer box made from the most touchable cardboard imaginable, kind of reminds me of some of the silky soft silicone toys I love to pet, then there is an inner box complete with a little secret compartment where the charger is stored. This box should hold up very well for quite awhile and is a great place to store the MiMi when not in use. I don’t normally spend a lot of time thinking or writing about packaging, but the MiMi has some truly excellent packaging. That’s what she said!

But what about the MiMi itself, does this little vibe measure up to its extremely great packaging? Can we judge a book by its cover? Let’s see…

The Je Joue MiMi Soft is a palm sized external vibrator whose shape sort of reminds me of a polished river stone, or maybe an egg that has been flattened. It is an oval that comes to a rounded wide point at the tip. It also features a soft, flexible silicone tip (hence the name MiMi Soft). The rest of the toy is made up of ABS plastic covered in silicone, so it is just the tip that has a lot of squish and flexibility, the rest of the toy is quite rigid and lacks any real squish to the silicone.

Now, because the MiMi Soft lacks a pin-point tip, I wasn’t able to apply the vibrations directly to a specific area on my clit, I had to learn to accept the less focused, broad stimulation instead. Although, I was able to turn it on its side and use the edge of the wide tip for what felt like the weaker cousin to the direct stimulation I crave. Broad stimulation isn’t a bad thing, it just takes me a lot longer to reach orgasm that way if the power isn’t there to back it up. And, unlike my “set it and forget it” pin-point vibes (like the We-Vibe Tango), I actually had to participate a little more actively in my quest for an orgasm. I had to apply a moderate amount of pressure and kind of wiggle it back and forth. Like I said, it takes me more time to reach orgasm this way, but MiMi’s rumbling vibrations do feel really good.

But, if you are a hardcore power fan, like myself, the MiMi Soft may leave you a bit frustrated and possibly even a little unsatisfied. Don’t get me wrong, the MiMi is quite a strong vibrator (it still gave me a case of vibrator hand numbness!) and is much better then a lot of cheaper alternatives, but I think some of the intensity is dampened by the matte silicone body that surrounds it. I feel like if there was just one more level of a higher intensity, it would have been perfect. While masturbating with the MiMi Soft, I kept feeling like I was almost there and would instinctively hit the (+) button, just trying to squeeze out a little more power!

Speaking of the buttons. I am having kind of a love/hate relationship with them at the moment. On the one hand, I LOVE that it has a three button interface. I don’t have to cycle through all its various patterns just to change the intensity or I don’t have to cycle through all the lower intensities just to get back to one I enjoy somewhere in the middle. There is a (+), hold it down to turn on the vibrator, and press it to increase the intensity, and hold down the (-) to turn the vibrator off, and press it to lower the intensity. With the MiMi Soft, you can cycle between five levels of intensity. There is also a smaller black button in between the two more obvious silver up and down buttons that allows you to cycle through the MiMi Softs’ seven vibration patterns.

Now, what I HATE about the buttons on the MiMi Soft is that they are really hard to push down, especially the center button. While masturbating, I am able to more or less fumble around with the (+) and (-) buttons and achieve what I need with a little effort and coordination. But that damn middle button mocks me at every turn.  I know its there, I can feel it under my finger tip, yet try as I might, the thing doesn’t want to push down when I’m holding it between my legs. I have to pull the vibrator away and bring it up closer to me so I can get some better leverage, and push it down. Obnoxious. I don’t know if this is just my particular MiMi with a sticky, defective button, or just the way it is all across the board, but I hate hard to press buttons that cause me to interrupt my masturbation flow just to switch through the patterns.

Like the We-Vibe Tango I reviewed right before this, the MiMi Soft charges using a magnetic clip. It doesn’t feel quite as fickle as my Tango magnetic charger, the design is a bit more cup shaped, allowing the MiMi to rest inside and making it harder to accidentally disconnect. The magnets themselves might also be stronger. I seem to get about two to two and a half hours of play time on a single charge. I rarely need my vibrator that long all at once, so really, it lasts me through several masturbation/sex sessions.

It’s worth noting that MiMi is also 100% waterproof and submersible. So you can take your vibrator with you in the bathtub! Also, waterproof makes it very easy to clean. Just wash it with hot water skin-friendly soap before and after each use. And dry completely before storing it away.

Because the body of the toy is covered in silicone, avoid using it with a silicone based lube.

Bonus: It comes with a black silky blindfold – which I didn’t even realize until reading about it from another blogger. I would have preferred the standard draw string bag that a lot of sex toys come with, but I suppose Je Joue was trying to appeal to couples by including the blindfold. If you are looking to try your hand at a little sensation play, tying the blindfold around yourself or your partner and using the MiMi soft on various points of the body might be kind of fun.

Do I recommend the Je Joue MiMi Soft? Yes. It is a very nice external vibrator. Perfect if you are looking for something on the small and discreet side of things. If you shy away from more direct stimulation, I think that MiMi will offer you a great alternative. It is definitely a gentler alternative to some of the more powerful, direct clitoral toys and the soft flexible tip is great for those who make like to add more pressure to the clit, but dislike the feeling of a rock-hard vibrator mashing against their body. Also, don’t feel limited to just a clitrous, it is great for gentle perineum stimulation and nipple play as well! Its shape is pretty simple and innocuous, making it a great toy for someone who wants to own a sex toy that doesn’t scream “I’m a sex toy!” when you look at it. Great for any sex toy beginner (or anyone else) who maybe isn’t quite ready to use something that looks phallic.

Ready to bring home a Je Joue MiMi Soft of your own? Consider purchasing it from one of my absolute favorite sex positive Minneapolis based sex toy shops – Smitten Kitten! They carry the MiMi Soft for $99.99 and it can be purchased from their online shop (or in store if you are in the area!).

The Je Joue MiMi Soft was provided to me free of charge by the Smitten Kitten in exchange for my honest review. 


We-Vibe Tango – Sex Toy Review

The We-Vibe Tango is another one of those toys that I feel like every blogger has reviewed, just give it a quick google and you will see that there is no great shortage of Tango reviews on the world wide web. But, it is one of those toys that is just so awesome that it deserves blog post after blog post singing its praises (and pointing out a few of its flaws). And sure, I may be a little late to the Tango party, but that won’t stop me from sharing just how totally awesome I think this little bullet vibe is!

First off, just look how small the We-Vibe Tango is. So tiny, not much bigger than a lipstick. How can something so small pack so much rumbling power? Witchcraft is the obvious answer.

The body of the We-Vibe Tango is made from a glossy ABS plastic, while part of me longs for plush silicone, I know it is the hard plastic body that allows the vibrations to come through with such clarity, a silicone buffer would just muffle it., making it feel weaker then it is. So, while not quite as luxurious as a silky-smooth silicone, ABS plastic is still a body safe option, and the Tango makes good use of it.

The Tango is an external vibe, with a tip that’s a slanted flat surface that comes to a point (kind of like some lipsticks), the point is great for pinpoint stimulation, and when that gets to be too much, I like to turn it back onto its flat side and ease off a bit, giving the rest of my vulva a rub while giving my clit a breather. It has four steady vibration intensities and four vibration patterns. The vibration patterns aren’t anything mind blowing, I usually skip past them, but they do add some interesting alternatives if you don’t like the steady, monotonous speeds. And, because the We-Vibe Tango is so small, it doesn’t really have a handle to grip, so I find my hands get pretty numb and tingly after use. Vibrator hands. You know what I’m talking about…

Another great thing about the Tango is that it can be used to replace all those weak, shitty, watch battery bullet vibes that come with a lot of vibrating dildos and butt plugs. Another option if you are really craving to feel the Tango’s vibrations internally is to snag one of the Pleasure Mate accessories, made for the Tango, Glow turns the little vibe into instertable toy for targeted G-spot stimulation and Dusk turns the Tango into vibrating butt plug complete with stimulation along perineum as it vibrates!

The We-Vibe Tango isn’t without its flaws though (Booo! Hiss!). The battery life on this little fellow is a bit of a let down, the manufacture claims the Tango has a two hour battery life, but it seems to only last about one hour or less if I’m really flipping through the vibration settings rapidly. This isn’t a huge deal if your play sessions don’t last that long, or you aren’t depending solely on the Tango to achieve orgasm. In general, I don’t find I need the Tango for two hours straight, so I just keep it on the charger when not in use.

Speaking of the charger, that is the other issue I have with the Tango. Instead of plugging securely into the toy, the charging cable attaches magnetically. While I think this is totally a neat idea, I’m frustrated by how weak the magnetic attachment actually is. Once you attach the toy and the charger together, you have to set it down VERY CAREFULLY otherwise off pops the charger. Likewise, any accidental bump of the toy or the surface it rests on causes a disconnect more often than not. I’ve been told by other Tango owners that this reincarnation of the Tango has a stronger magnetic base then its predecessor, but I still find this one to be a bit finicky and frustrating. Also, it charges via USB, so like the Holy Cow! Wand and the Womanizer I reviewed before this, you either need to have a USB wall charger on hand, or be okay with having a sex toy hang out of your computer for an hour or so while you charge up.



Okay, while we are on the subject of flaws, there is one more itty-bitty thing I would change about the Tango. I hate its one button interface. When I am masturbating with a vibe, I like to cycle up and down through the speeds, easing off when I get too close… but, with this one button interface, depending on where I am at in the speed settings, I have to cycle through the remaining intensities AND through the four vibration patterns before I end up back at the lowest intensity setting. I know, I know, the Tango is small and there is only so much room… but it really is maddening.

Do I recommend the We-Vibe Tango? I think you can guess the answer to that question.. That would be a resounding HELL YEAH! At least, if a strong, rumbling, pocket-sized vibe is what you are looking for. If you have a sensitive clit, you may find direct stimulation with the Tango a little overwhelming, even at its lowest setting the Tango still packs a fair punch. If you are looking for something discreet, the Tango is not only small, but it is also surprisingly quiet. The Tango is also extremely portable, although there is no travel lock, but I find it extremely unlikely that anything is going to hit the small button at the base with enough force to start it vibrating in your purse or suitcase.

Ready to buy a We-Vibe Tango for yourself? Trust me, you want this little powerhouse! You can purchase it for $79.99 from the Smitten Kitten, a really awesome Minneapolis based progressive sex toy retailer for people of all genders and orientations. They have been selling non-toxic, body friendly sex toys and gear since 2003. One of my favorite spots to shop! You can feel good purchasing anything from these folks.

The We-Vibe Tango was provide to me free of charge by The Smitten Kitten in exchange for my honest opinion.

Fifty Shades of Grey Holy Cow! Vibrating Wand – Sex Toy Review

I am really not a big fan of Fifty Shades of Grey, everything about the story just kind of rubs me the wrong way. The characters are bland and predictable, the story is a snooze fest, the only thing I liked was the sex (and even some of that writing I found questionable.) However, I am a big fan of vibrating wands! So I was pretty willing to overlook the obnoxious Fifty Shades of Grey branding in favor of adding another wand to my collection! Much like my last Lovehoney review, this toy also has a long mouthful of a name: “Fifty Shades of Grey Holy Cow! Vibrating Wand” – that exclamation point in the name is going to drive me nuts throughout this review…. anyway…

Thankfully, other than “Fifty Shades of Grey” being written on the shiny, chrome-like face plate of the handle, there is no other book/movie tie-in gimmick with this wand. Right out of the packaging, I was actually very impressed with the way the wand felt. It is very light-weight, which I wasn’t expecting. Having gotten used to my Magic Wand, I was expecting an arm workout when I picked this wand up, but it is both easy and comfortable to hold for an extended period of time. With the exception of the face plate, the entire wand is covered in a very luxurious black silicone. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting something quite so silky. Just give me a moment while I sit here and pet my vibrator. Shhh, nice wand, good wand…. yes, let mamma stroke you….MMmmmmm….

Where the Fifty Shades of Grey Holy Cow! Wand falls short for me is power. I am a power hog, if it the vibrations don’t measure at least a 9.2 on the Richter Scale, I’m not interested. Unlike Miss Anastasia Steele, this wand did not have me screaming “Holy cow!” in any wild, toe curling orgasms. Sure, it has power, just not enough for me. Will it replace my Magic Wand? No. Will it replace my Doxy? No. But, it does come in at a close third. I don’t hate it, it is a greater starter toy, works well to get me warmed up, but I need something with more rumble to bring me to an orgasm while I masturbate. But, this doesn’t mean the Holy Cow! doesn’t have any power at all, I was impressed with what it did have, and for someone who finds the Magic Wand to be too intense, this is going to be a great step down for you.

One thing the Holy Cow! Wand does have over my Magic Wand or Doxy is that it is shorter. This is great, because it is much less cumbersome to use during sex. I can hold it to my clit while being penetrated and not feel like I have an extra third person between us. And, where it lacks in power during solo masturbation, it almost makes up for it during partner play – where I don’t require as much power to achieve orgasm and appreciate a much slower buildup to orgasm.

I love that this wand is rechargeable. I love that about any sex toy. I love that more and more toys are becoming rechargeable. I remember getting my very first vibrator in the mail, I was so excited, I could barely contain myself, and when the package arrived, I ripped into it only to discover I needed freakin’ D cell batteries. Who keeps D cell batteries in their house, seriously? Also, I was a broke college freshman living on her own, so I didn’t have a ready supply of cash in which to purchase batteries. So, I emptied my change jar, dug through couch cushion, went through coat pockets, and managed to scrounged up like eight bucks so I could slink to the gas station a few blocks away and buy batteries for my illicit entertainment. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is – rechargeable, YAY! Buuuuuuut… it only comes with a USB charger, meaning I either have to free up a port on my laptop or sacrifice my iPhone wall cube, to charge this bad boy, both situations are slightly inconvenient but more tolerable than searching for batteries. If you share a desktop computer in the living room, finding time to charge your wand might be awkward – unless you have really cool roommates.

Speaking of rechargeable. Figuring out how to charge this thing was a bit of an adventure. You see, that silky silicone happens to covers the entire wand… from head to tip… with no obvious port for plugging it in. For real, I turned this sucker over and over, looking for the charging port and could not find it. Even after consulting the manual – which shows you plugging it in via the very tip – I was dubious. Turns out there is a plastic membrane like deal covering the charging port. So, every time you need to plug your wand in, you need to push the plug through that…  kind of like breaking a hymen (that was awful, why did I write that?).

One other thing I’m not super thrilled about with the Holy Cow! Wand is its buttons. There are three flat buttons etched into the silicone body on what I would call the backside of the wand. You use the + to turn it on and increase the speed, the O to change up your patterns, and the – to decrease the speed and if you push and hold it, it will turn the wand off. The buttons take more force then I think is reasonable to work, I really have to mash my thumb against them to make anything happen. I think this toy could be greatly improved by having buttons that were raised, rather than sunk into the toy.

Another bonus about the Fifty Shades of Grey Holy Cow! is that it is waterproof! So feel free to take your wand out of the bedroom and into the shower or bathtub or to your next sexy pool party! I haven’t tried it in water yet, so I can’t vouch for just how waterproof it is, but Lovehoney does advertise it as being “submersible.”

Because the body is covered in silicone, I do recommend that you use a water-based or hybrid lubricant with this toy. But, since it is waterproof, cleanup is a breeze! Just wash it down with a little soap and water or your favorite toy cleanser and you are good to go.

Do I recommend the Fifty Shades of Grey Holy Cow! Vibrating Wand? Probably. I wouldn’t recommend it to other folks who are like myself – power hungry. It isn’t an equal to the Original Magic Wand or Doxy, if you were looking for something like either of those, I might say skip this one. But, for its “power class” it is a nice wand, it is a step or two down from the Magic Wand, but still has enough oomph to hold its own. I would recommend the Holy Cow! for people who are more sensitive, who are new to vibrating wands and aren’t yet sure how much power they need, or as a companion toy to be used during other activities (like penetration, or maybe your own Fifty Shades of Grey role play session.) If you are a big fan of Fifty Shades of Grey, you might just enjoy owning a piece of the official sex toy collection approved by the author E. L. James. Overall, it is a great little wand, well made, and with more power then your average wand (even if it falls short of my true love the Magic Wand.).

You can purchase a Fifty Shades of Grey Holy! Cow Vibrating Wand from Lovehoney for $119.99 or if you are in the UK, it is available their their UK store for £74.99.

And if you really love Fifty Shades of Grey, check out the rest of the Official Pleasure Collection!

The Fifty Shades of Grey Holy Cow! Vibrating Wand was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review.

MEO ManCunt Hybrid Lubricant – Sex Toy Review

Remember FuckSlut, one of MEO’s silicone based lubes? Well, I’ve got another MEO lube here with an equally humdinger of a name for you – ManCunt.

ManCunt… Yeah, no… the name doesn’t really grab me the same way FuckSlut did (FuckSlut still gives me a good giggle), I’m not a big fan of the word cunt. It is pretty vulgar, and not in a fun “talk dirty to me” way. So, right off the bat, I’m going to say that this lube may not be ideal for anyone sensitive to crude language. It’s hard to feel sexy if every time you look at your bottle of lube a great big trigger word is staring right back at you. But, on the flip-side, some of you may find the word a great turn on, so I’m not going to yuck all over your yum, yo!

So, MEO ManCunt, just what are you? Short answer: lube. The long answer: ManCunt is a hybrid lube that is designed to look and feel like a man’s ejaculate. I’m going to go ahead and admit that yes, I still get the heebee jeebees from jizz no matter what shape or form it takes. So, testing another brand of cum lube wasn’t super high up on my list of things I actually wanted to do, but I’m a real trooper and I got it done! High-five! Go me!

Actually, the MEO ManCunt lube is really a lot less like cum then I was expecting. Right out of the bottle it doesn’t really behave the same way that cum does, it isn’t sticky, it doesn’t cling to my fingers in a Spider-Man web-like fashion, and the kind of runny, kind of gel-like consistency of real ejaculate just isn’t there. It is really far to stiff and creamy for me to really think “Oh! This is just like cum!”

Colorwise, I can see the similarity. It shares the same kind of creamy off-whitish color that I think of cum being. So, from a distance… yeah, maybe I can imagine it being a man’s hot load of spunk… but as soon as you touch it the illusion starts to fall apart. Feels  and spreads more like lotion than anything else.

BUT, If I stop thinking of it as a cum lube and just look at it as a hybrid lube, I like it a lot more. It is a really nice, thick, and creamy (ooh, this could be a drinking game, take a shot every time I use the word creamy to describe ManCunt…) lube. Because it is a hybrid lube ManCunt has some great staying power, added silicone allows it to stay slicker much longer than a straight water-based lube would, giving you more playtime before needing to reach for the lube bottle again (yay!). It also doesn’t become dry and tacky like some water-based lubes do as it wears off/rubs in. Unlike my Bad Dragon Cum Lube, MEO ManCunt readily stayed where placed, it didn’t want to drip and run, making it much less messy to use. And because ManCunt is really more of a straight up hybrid lube rather than a sticky cum lube, clean up is a breeze. A little soap and water and you are lube free in no time!

If you are looking for a lube to use with toys, most hybrid lubes are safe to use with any toy material, including silicone toys. However, if you are worried, you can always try a spot test on one of your silicone toys. Pure silicone will break down silicone toys, but hybrid lubes will usually contain enough water to reduce molecular friction (SCIENCE RULES!).

It is also probably worth pointing out that ManCunt does contain glycerin, so if you have a sensitive vagina or vulva, you will want to consider purchasing something else (I recommend anything Sliquid!). But, if your main purpose is to use this for anal play, go nuts! It is perfectly safe for anal use, and I believe it is what this lube is really geared towards. But, it is paraben-free, and they steer clear of animal testing, so there is that!

Something I really love about ManCunt is the packaging. The pump dispenser is everything that I ever dream of for a lube. There is no squeezing a bottle with slick, slippery, lube covered hands… just a quick pump, and you are back in lube heaven. So incredibly easy to dispense, no mess, and you don’t have to worry about pouring out too much at once. The ManCunt pump dispenser really is a thing of beauty. I’ve seriously considered washing the bottle out when it is empty, just to use it for other lubes. VIVA LA PUMP!

The big question: do I recommend Meo ManCunt? Well, it’s not a bad lube, but it definitely is my least favorite of the MEO lubes I have tested out so far, but that doesn’t mean I hate it. If you are looking for a lube to simulate ejaculation, you are better off with something more like Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube, but if you are just looking for a quality hybrid lube and can look past the somewhat vulgar name, then ManCunt is worth a try. I especially recommend it if you are looking for an anal use lube, it is slick, long lasting, and easy to clean. If you are purchasing it for vaginal use, remember that it does contain glycerin. Also, in case you are wondering it has a pretty neutral taste and almost no odor.

Ready for your own bottle of ManCunt? Available in 125 ml bottles it can be purchased directly from MEO (international shipping available!) for 16,90 € which is about $19.00 for those of us here in the U.S.A.

The MEO ManCunt hybrid lube is being modeled by my fabulous Pleasure Works Maven! So photogenic.

MEO ManCunt was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review.

Split Peaches Silicone Unicorn Horn Dildo – Sex Toy Review

So, you know those nights, where you’re sitting on twitter, possibly over caffeinated from one too many Cherry Cokes, and you are just rapid tweeting all your inner most thoughts and desires? We all have those nights, right? Well, I found myself suddenly in great and urgent need of a Unicorn themed sex toy. Because, who wouldn’t want that?  So, I let twitter know…


This is where things got magical. Twitter was listening and was ready to finally fulfill one of my dreams… shortly after my unicorn tweet, I was tagged in this bit of magic:

Okay, sure… it’s not the whole head of a unicorn, but it’s still pretty darn close. But, hot damn, how cool is that! My little ol’ tweet spawned a brand new sex toy for us all to enjoy! You’re welcome.

Oh, and not only did Split Peaches design this whimsical little thing toy, but they also offered to send me one to review! I believe my response was something akin to “OMG UNICORN, SEND IT TO MEEEEEE I MUST HAVE IT! MY PRECIOUS!” They even asked me what my perfect size would be, so basically, I got to design the most perfect sex toy ever. Eight inches of insertable length and a two inch thick shaft (and of course, they also offer it in two other sizes for those wanting a little more or or a little less horn.).

Now, since Split Peaches is a company that is new to me, new to my blog, and quite possibly new to you I thought I would let them say a few words about themselves:

Got Split Peach? As an innovator in sextoy products, Split Peaches designs and hand pours all of their products in the USA using only 100% body safe platinum cure silicone from the leading reputable US supplier. From the innovative POVieStick cell phone strap-on for making personalized POV movies, to magical rainbow unicorn horn dildos, Split Peaches is revitalizing the sextoy industry by making the toys people really want to play. With the motto  “your pleasure is our passion”, Split Peaches is highly customer focused – from product selection to hearing feedback and suggestions. With the belief that you’re never too old to play with toys, Split Peaches helps you safely explore all pleasure options. Visit and Split your Peach today!

My brand new Unicorn Horn dildo arrived in very discreet packaging with discreet labeling. No one will suspect you’ve just been delivered a silicone fantasy horse dildo. Once inside the box, I was pretty impressed with the packaging that the dildo came in. Nestled inside a pillow of purple tissue paper was a clear plastic tube container sealed with shiny, glittery, tape. Some of the nicer packaging presentation I’ve seen in awhile! Kudos to you Split Peaches!

At first glance I kind of worried that the shape of the Unicorn Horn would cause some uncomfortable bumping up against my cervix (something I experienced with the Exotic-Erotics Murray), but so far, that hasn’t been a problem. The narrower rounded tip of the toy makes it easy and comfortable to insert, and the length turned out to be perfect for me. Like a Cinderella’s glass slipper for my vagina, it fit like a dream.

After much testing and many orgasms, I have discovered that I actually prefer to use this dildo anally. Which is a surprise, I’m not usually big into using dildos in my butt hole, they are usually too long, unwieldy, or uncomfortable for me to really get in to it… but somehow, the Unicorn Horn really works for me. The texture especially feels very good sliding in and out, I can feel each section of the horn pop in and out.

The swirling groved horn pattern also creates a pleasant sensation when twisted around inside my vagina, especially around the opening. The silicone is fairly firm, not a lot of squish to it (but what else would you expect of a Unicorn horn?) but still bendable. It is however, a very stick straight toy, (again, the nature of a Unicorn horn), which means it doesn’t really hit my g-spot. So if you are looking for a g-spot toy, you may want to pass on this. However, I don’t always need a toy to hit my g-spot, sometimes texture is enough, or just having something inserted to squeeze around while I use a vibrator on my clit is great! Honestly, the Split Peaches Unicorn Horn is really a super simple toy, but very effective.

My Unicorn Horn is a pearlescent white color, very pretty, also very tough to do it justice with my current photography set up. Split Peaches also advertises the Unicorn Horn in a very fun, bright rainbow color. But, if neither of these colors peek your interest, Split Peaches offers their toys in custom colors.

When it comes to lube, water-based is highly recommended. Or, if you are planning to use your silicone toy with a condom, look for either non-lubricated condoms or condoms that specifically say they use water-based lube. Silicone based lubes do not always play well with silicone toys, and you run the risk of damaging your toy. I needed to use a fair amount of lube to keep this toy going, as the lube started to dry up, the silicone started to drag a bit (not a problem exclusive to this toy by any means, something I’ve experienced with many silicone toys.).

My recommendation? The Split Peaches Unicorn is a well made toy, 100% body safe, and just down right adorable! Are you a fan of My Little Ponies? Do you have Last Unicorn fantasies (we all have those right…)? Do you just crave something more unique then just a penis to put in your various holes? Then the Split Peaches Unicorn Horn might be exactly what you need! With a little coaxing, the Split Peaches Unicorn Horn fits into my Tantus Nurse Connoisseur Harness, turning my pubic region into a sexy narwhal ready to dive into your deepest caverns (I’m sorry, I will never refer to a vagina or butt hole as a cavern again…). It may not exactly rate a total ten on the stimulation scale, but it more than makes up for it in fun factor! It is unique, great for those who may be put off by realistic sex toys, or those who enjoy in indulging in any furry play or fantasy based bedroom role play.

Ready to purchase a Unicorn Horn of your very own? You can do so through Split Peaches website! The medium (which is what I have) retails for $60.00, and is also available in small for $38.00 and large for $115.00 (price may change depending on color.).

The Split Peaches Unicorn Horn was provided to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. 



Lovehoney Sensual Glass Textured Dildo

The Lovehoney Sensual Glass Textured Dildo comes to me through yet another contest win (remember when I won that Crystal Delights ‘Colors Against Cancer’ plug? That was awesome!)! I’m usually the person who never wins anything, so to have not just one but TWO sex toy wins under my belt… well… just roll me over and call me lucky (or some other nonsensical folksy colloquialism of your choice.)

The Lovehoney glass dildo is pretty special for another reason. This is my first glass dildo. Before I had the honor of experiencing the Crystal Delights glass plugs, I was one of those people who was a bit wary of glass sex toys. This sounds may sound completely ridiculous, but I honestly had a fear that a glass sex toy would somehow break and shatter inside me. That I would be picking shards of glass out of my vagina for the rest of my life, if I were to put one of those glass dildos inside me. Obviously this is so not true. Most of the glass sex toys on the market are made from borosilicate glass – the same stuff that your grandma’s Pyrex cookware is made from. If it’s good enough for granny, it’s good enough for your vagina. Okay, I’m sorry if you are going to think about grandma every time you masturbate with glass, but what I’m trying to say is that (quality) glass toys are solid, you are not going to break one while masturbating (unless you are the hulk).

I have dropped my Lovehoney glass dildo on our wood floor more times that I’d care to admit to. Each time I’m positive I’ve just broke it, but every time it has pulled through unscathed, no cracks, chips, or fractures of any sort! Obviously, don’t throw it around on purpose, but it will stand up to the occasional “whoopsie.”

My Lovehoney Sensual Glass Textured Dildo (that name, oh my gosh… its the worst… I’d just call it Chad, Chad the Dildo, but that wouldn’t really fly for SEO purposes…) arrived in a discreet brown box, nothing that screamed “SEX TOY INSIDE!” So, definitely feel comfortable in ordering from Lovehoney, you’re neighbors won’t know what you are up to. Inside the box, the packaging was pretty simple. Just another box, and inside that was a black velvety bag which held the glass dildo, which was wrapped in foam to keep is safe and sound during shipping. I really do love any toy that comes with its own means of storage – so this scores bonus points with me, even if the bag does feel a little on the cheap side.

So, one of the best things about having a glass toy (I learned this with my plugs), is temperature play! You can let it sit in a bowl of warm or cold water, or pop it in the fridge 10-20 minutes before you plan on using it. However, I recommend you do not put it in the freezer… just don’t. Having had this toy delivered to me in the middle of Minnesota winter, the toy arrived to me COLD, very, very cold, and of course I had the overwhelming urge to touch my tongue to it… well, guess what… it stuck. Now, imagine having that happen to the delicate, sensitive, fleshy bits around your vulva or in your vagina? Ouch, no thanks.

But, what you are really probably wondering is – “how does it feel?” Well, let me tell you, I’ve sort of become a bit of a snob when it comes to toys. I’m hard to please. But, even with it’s incredibly unwieldy name, right out of the packaging I was fairly impressed with the Textured Sensual Glass Dildo. The weight of it felt about perfect, not so heavy that it tired my hand or wrist out during use, and not so light that it felt cheap. The swirling ribbed texture along the shaft provides a subtle soft rippling, rumbling, feeling across the front wall of my vagina, and, for me it is especially exciting when twisted and combined with a slow thrust in and out, this allows me to really savor the raised spiraling texture of the shaft. But, because glass is so rigid, I find I need to keep the toy well lubricated, otherwise the texture starts to feel a bit overwhelming. On the flip side, the bulbous handled end makes a great popping feeling as it’s thrust in and out, it also hits my g-spot in a most pleasurable way. Although, if I were looking for a g-spot toy, this would not be the first thing I grab for.

Try as I might, I was never able to orgasm from this dildo alone. It just never quite hit the spot, but it came close. When teamed up with a clitoral vibrator however, it was pretty fulfilling!

Glass is a pretty low maintenance sex toy material. It is made from a completely non-porous material and can even be sterilized easily. Clean with warm soap and water, toss it in the dishwasher, or rub it down with specialized toy cleaner. I would recommend you pay a little extra attention to the textured areas when cleaning. Lube and body fluids can gather in between the spirals, but its nothing a quick scrub with a soft toothbrush or q-tip can’t fix.

Another great thing about glass – it is extremely lube friendly! Feel free to use your favorite water, silicone, or oil-based lubes without any worry! In my experience glass can get pretty slippery when really lubed up, so hang on tight!

I am pretty thrilled by the opportunity to add a glass dildo to my collection, but I will admit, it isn’t my most favorite dildo in my collection.  But, that doesn’t change the fact that I am impressed with the quality and overall versatility (hello, double ended! Okay, I don’t know if its meant to be used that way… but I did it and survived!), and for the price, it is a very affordable option for someone looking to add a body safe toy to their collection. And, at 6.5 inches of insertable length and 4 inches of girth, I think the Lovehoney Sensual Glass Textured Dildo is a great size for even a beginner user. So, do I recommend it? Yes, it is a solid, basic glass dildo. Also, it looks like a magic wand… so, sexy Harry Potter role play anyone?

If you are ready to purchase a Lovehoney Sensual Glass Textured Dildo for yourself, you can do so directly from Lovehoney’s website for only $16.50! Quite a steal!

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